OFFICE SPACED
Chatter ‘gems’ overheard in the Total Film office this month… * “The big question from the Matrix Resurrections trailer is that it’s time to re-debate the Reloaded rave.” * “Where the eff was this weather when I was in Westward effing Ho!?!”
BED DECISION
Iwas wondering WHY, in the name of Frederick Krueger, do people in horror movies run upstairs and hide in their bedrooms when someone is trying to a) kill them b) possess them or c) both of the above?!? What do these characters think? Their bed will protect them from evildoers, or their pyjama drawer might make a good weapon? (“If I just fling my nightie…”) Maybe hiding under the bed is the equivalent of a cloaking device? For all characters trapped in a horror film… use the FRONT FLIPPING DOOR! Also, TURN ON A BLASTED LIGHT!
TIM PARSONS-YARROW, MELBOURNE
Anyone else think the new Wrong Turn should’ve been called Deviated Course? Eighteen minutes in and it was clear that the characters had made a conscious decision rather than gone off-course by accident. A blatant case of false advertising!
SUE INGDAFILM, HAMPSHIRE
Fair points well put, though it is perhaps a tad unfair how it’s always horror characters that get the rough end of the steak knife when it comes to poor choices. What about all those romcoms where it’s de rigueur to be engaged to the worst person on Earth for 90 minutes before hooking up with someone normal? Or sports movies where the hero decides the time to really break out your best moves is when you’re moments from intensive care?
RIP JOAN WASHINGTON
I’m always a bit behind with reading the magazine, but found it very poignant reading the interview with Richard E. Grant [TF315], talking about social media and his positive outlook, following the sad passing of his wife Joan Washington. Lovely interview, superb actor, and Joan was clearly a wonderful voice coach who will be missed by him and everyone who knew her – and indirectly by those who never realised her influence on the films they’re watching.
RYAN, SHEFFIELD
Well said – and TF extends its condolences to the family of Joan Washington, who brought her dialect-honing skills to an astonishing range of productions, from
Schindler’s List to the Star
Wars prequels and more recently the likes of Tenet, The Witches and the upcoming The 355.
RING CYCLE
Does anyone know what network provider Bruce Willis is with? It must be pretty good given how many performances he phones in these days. RUSS, SOUTHAMPTON
Ouch. Ironically, one of his more memorable recent turns was one he could well have done down the blower, in The Lego Movie 2. While we await the Willis-sance, let’s have fun spotting the titles that sound rather like variations on his signature hit:
Survive The Night… Hard Kill… Out Of Death… what next? Difficult To Do In? Vestman Begins? Unbreakable?
IN THE MOOD FOR LAUGHS
There seem to be endless superhero films and thrillers at the cinema at the moment, but very few comedies. Because of this, I’ve been delving into my collection at home, rewatching classics like Love And Death, The Man With Two Brains, The Spy Who Shagged Me, A Night At The Opera and the Naked Gun movies. It might perhaps be in bad taste, but I’m sure there’s a fortune waiting for someone (Sacha Baron Cohen?) producing a
STEPHEN MCCARTHY, GLASGOW Carry On Coronavirus.
You could say Baron Cohen nearenough did that already with the second half of Borat Subsequent Moviefilm. There was something very Sid James about Rudy Giuliani’s ‘performance’. We may not be in a golden age of cine-comedy, but there’s still a good ratio of funny films to those that leave you searching for answers: Peter Rabbit 2 and The Tom & Jerry Movie on the one hand. And on the other, funny films.