One- child family is not for everyone

W e’re thinking about having only one child. We have a seven- month- old son. Will my son be all right being an only child or is this a very selfish decision on our part? Familyof3, HP

DECIDING to have only one child is a difficult decision for families and each couple decides this for various reasons.

Your concern about your son is a common worry as he will be an only child and not experience the relationships that siblings bring. We could discuss the pros and cons of this and the likely impact on his personality as obviously, being raised in two different family combinations will affect his personaility, skills and the type of person he becomes. This can have downsides or can be beneficial depending on whatever you choose.

I have seen children from large families and you can always tell that they come from a large family as they are very

organised, independent, play well and certainly learn give and take So in short, depending on your family unit, yes, it will impact on your son as does whether you decide to have or two three or six children. Will it be negative? There is research to show how it is likely affect his personaility. I would take this into account and keep it in mind as you raise him. For example it is likely he will feel a lot of pressure to do everything exceedingly well and to please his parents. It is likely you will be a ‘ helicopter parent’ and hover over him, protect him.

The most important question to keep in mind when you are both deciding would be: Do you both want to raise another child? Do you both want to commit to the years it takes? Do you both want to parent, teach, play with and educate another child?

Your answers to these questions should be your guide to the decision you are both trying to make. There is no point in having another child for your son’s benefit or possible benefits if the desire for a long, long- term commitment and the ability to put that child at the top of your priorities is not the main factor.

As without this commitment, the way you would then raise/ parent your second child would certainly negatively impact this child — more than your son being an only child.

Email questions to aboutababy@ townsvillebulletin. com. au. Nicole Pierotti is a child psychologist who is an expert in helping solve sleep problems. Call 4724 2600 or go to babysmiles. com. au