Keep track of life’s small joys
EVERY day in my clinic I meet parents. Tired parents, often just plain worn out. This parenting gig is a pretty full. Yes, we know how much we love our children. But we are our own severest critics.
We feel guilty for about 100 things. The muesli slice should be homemade not store- bought. I should do more craft or what about a second language?
Well, do you know what? Every parent is tired, guilty and judging themselves. Some more than others. The thing is you’re probably worrying too much. One of my best tips is to focus on “what went right today” and, yes, there would have been one or two things at least.
Did you notice these pluses or did they sail under your radar as you were too busy looking at the clock, or thinking about the next load of washing, or the dinner, or the school notes. Did you notice the excitement in your daughter’s eyes and face as she told you a story from school?
Did you give a good squeeze back when your son gives you a cuddle?
Did you look up from your phone or the TV when one of your kids spoke to you and listened? Did you notice and engage with them?
It slows life down and it brings meaningfulness to what we do as parents. Noticing the little things, noticing the butterfly they saw, the flower in the tree, or just sitting, stopping and being with them. Being present and listening.
This brings the appreciation and the good feelings, it makes it all worthwhile.
So next time you find yourself rolling your eyes, snapping at your kids, rushing around pursuing your routine, try to find something that is going well or that you appreciate.
What if you can’t think of anything going well when you are doing the 100th load of washing and sighing? Then simply remind yourself one day when the kids leave home you won’t have all this washing to do. You will then be in an empty house wishing the kids were back in the house with dirty washing.
Try it, it works. I have used this line probably hundreds of times by now and the exasperation does lift. Once you start to notice the little things, you will feel better, less tired and calmer.
What went right today?