Right royal revelation

I MUST be getting soft. The newsreader said the Queen was about to get a pay rise and I didn’t feel the vaguest urge to chuck a brick through the TV screen. Mind you, it’s a new telly and I like it.

She does all right for herself, Her Maj ( pictured).

She gets millions and millions upfront. And she banks millions and millions, largely from renting out her properties.

That’d be some holiday, wouldn’t it, renting one of the Queen’s many palatial homes?

I wonder how much she’d charge for an overnighter at Windsor Castle. Do they do B& B? Eggs hollandaise, thanks.

To be fair, the Queen has lots of overheads.

She has to pay her staff and there are plenty of those.

She also has to cater for visiting dignitaries and she has to travel the Commonwealth to make sure it’s all running smoothly.

Her cleaning bill must be enormous. Just imagine the windows. And dusting the chandeliers.

Feeding the corgis? I bet they’d turn their noses up at Pal or Chum. Even Pedigree would be beneath them.

And don’t mention the home brand stuff. There’s one in the supermarkets that is called just “Dog Food.” They may as well market it as “Corgi Repellent”.

And what’s the market price for a good polo pony? They can’t come cheap.

I must admit my feelings for the royals have tempered over the years. Still a committed republican, I can see some value in Their Majesties and Highnesses. My old “Vote Yes For Our Republic” T- shirt is now food for moths in some forgotten drawer. One disappointment for me is PM Malcolm Turnbull’s lack of heavy lifting on the issue.

He was once a committed, even vociferous, republican, but he’s gone a bit quiet. He thinks it’s a hot potato.

Perhaps he’s a sook. Or perhaps he senses the mood correctly. Australians are more concerned with j job creation than grand symbolic gestures.

And a goodly portion of Aussies l love their royals. Sales of Woman’s Day bear that out.

Who can resist adorable little Georgie Porgie and sister Charlotte? You just want to pinch their chubby cheeks and ruffle their hair and give them a lollipop.

Wills and Kate are making a fair fist of it, although Wills doesn’t look like he wants the top job, the one with the crown. He looks as if it bears heavy on his shoulders.

Anyway, he’s got to wait until his dad has a crack at it first. With the noted longevity of the royals, Wills may be 80 years old before he gets a go.

Harry’s a likely lad. He could do with a shave, but that’s his business.

Harry admitted this week that he had considered quitting the royal ranks and living as a commoner, except he felt a duty to his grandmother to soldier on.

Good boy. No matter how archaic the system, it’s good to do something nice for granny.

Harry said he enjoyed his time in the army because he was treated as “just Harry”.

Perhaps this says more than anything about the changing of the guard. Maybe even the royals don’t want to be royals anymore.

Perversely, as a republican, I have started collecting royal memorabilia.

Old glasses emblazoned with regal insignia, a vase commemorating the wedding of Charles and Di, special issues of newspapers published for the Queen’s coronation, books of royal visits to Australasia.

I reckon, come the republic, they might be worth a few quid. For old time’s sake.

God save the Queen. Or King. Or somebody.