IS IT THE XXXX FACTOR?

WINNING THEORY

WHEN it comes to having a drink, the Cowboys know when to cut loose. Better still, they know when to give the stuff a wide berth.

You can bet they are giving it a wide berth right now.

This is unlike their dreaded foes down in Cockroach Land who cut loose 24/ 7.

We were flabbergasted to learn a month ago that the ‘ Cockies’ were on the booze big time at their State of Origin training camp. The discovery via hotel bills that the training camp was a euphemism for ‘ booze cruise’ cost NSW Origin coach Laurie Daley his job.

Physical relations of the more intimate kind might also be off the Cowboys players’ agenda. We read with more than passing interest last weekend that one of the great middleweight boxers of all time, Jake “Raging Bull” La Motta, believed in physical abstinence for up to two months before a big fight.

“I would go a month or two without sex. It worked for me because it made me a vicious animal. You can’t fight if you have compassion,” he said.

We don’t know if the Cowboys are going to that extent, and this little bunny isn’t about to ask. What we do know is that they do like XXXX Gold and that right now it is not on their menu. All good things come to those who wait.

After they put paid to the Roosters 29- 16 last Saturday there was photographic evidence of XXXX Gold cartons in the victors’ dressing shed.

After the 2015 grand final there was talk of carton after carton of XXXX Gold being taken to the dressing shed at ANZ Stadium. A lot of fans had gone back to the Cowboys’ hotel, expecting them to return there for a snifter or three, but the fellers were whooping it up in the sheds.

It all a came to a head ( poor pun) on Saturday night when Channel 9 commentator Andrew Johns, noticing the XXXX Gold cartons in the shed, joked aloud, asking what was in the beer that helped lift the Cowboys’ game. It was one of those throwaway lines that everyone hears and talks about afterwards.

It was the same as Darren Lockyer putting the microphone in front of Michael Morgan as he walked victorious from the field after the Rooster’s match.

Morgan, calm and happy, with a beatific smile on his dial, said of the win: “You wouldn’t read about it”.

How sweet a sound was that? It was a phrase we have all used a million times, but how good was it to hear this everyday Australian saying come from Morgan’s mouth after such a colossal game?

It brought back images of Henry Law-

son, dirt roads and kids fishing with hand lines under paperbark trees on the bank of a river. You wouldn’t read about it.

Well, Mr Morgan, we have read about it and we can say with great clarity that you blokes won.

It is time to come back to that big question about what is in the beer that gives the Cowboys an edge.

Charters Towers’ publican Dave Moore is a great believer in the restorative powers of XXXX Gold. He admits he’s no nuclear chemist, but he reckons he’s a got a pretty good idea about what goes into XXXX Gold.

“I reckon there is a lot of Burdekin River water in it. You can’t beat Burdekin River water. It’s got all the minerals you need. If the Chinese ever hear about it they’ll be down here tomorrow wanting to take our river back to China. They like all that secret herbs and spices stuff,” he said.

Dave says there are other secret ingredients in Gold that you don’t normally associate with beer.

“I’d say it’s got a bit of gidgee root in it, some powdered iron bark and the ground- up pulp of the Burdekin plum. Throw in a bit of rust from a branding iron, some brumby hair and shavings from the horn of a brindle, scrub bull and I think you’d be getting close to what’s in XXXX Gold,” Dave said.

Dave said the Castlemaine Perkins brewery should lock its doors and make sure no XXXX Gold gets to Melbourne before the grand final. He said it made no sense to give the opposition a sample of Queensland’s secret weapon, days out from the grand final.

“I think it gives a bit of advantage. It might be an unfair advantage, but is anyone up here going to call the police?” Dave said.

“All the good things in North Queensland are in that XXXX Gold.”

Dave has been backing the Cowboys since November last year. He had a win last Saturday and shouted the bar. He’ll be shouting again if the Cowboys win.

Dave is tipping that the XXXX Gold cartons will be being trucked into the Cowboys shed at ANZ Stadium after the game on Sunday night. “It will be 2015 all over again,” he said. The menu at his Enterprise Hotel tells its own story. On Wednesday night Granville’s Grain Fed Rump was the special of the day. Yesterday it was JT- Bone. Today is Kyle Feldt Fish Day and tomorrow is JT’s Busted Wings. On Sunday it will be something like Storm Chop Suey or Storm in a Tea Cup.

All of it will be washed down with XXXX Gold. You can bet your Cowboys’ jumper on it.