There’s a hole lot of complaining going on

OUR roads are fantastic! Hang on, before you say ( and I can hear you ya know) “what are @#*&! talking about Pricey”, I’m saying, that they are fantastic as a conversation starter!

This week, I had a BUM warning, Brumbies Upset Motorists near Bluewater ( or Nowater), then a NOBUM warning, as in there are no Brumbies at Bluewater, only Pink Elephants, which is absolutely silly – we all know there are only pink elephants at Giru.

The Bruce Holeway had numerous problems, and I don’t mean Cobb and Co being held up by bushrangers. After all there are no more bushrangers of course, we just call them something different by voting em in! Joking.

Think of all the years if a truckie sneezed at Blakeys Crossing, the road would close. Remember Cattle Creek and Seymore in the north, and the Barrattas to our south, they would flood if a flying fox had an aerial pee, but not now.

Well actually we don’t know, it hasn’t rained for a while, and I better not say anything just in case it rains for 40 days and 40 nights. If it does, I hope He forgets the flying cockroach this time.

Back to the roads, we complain when they are not fixed, and then, when they’re fixing them, we do the right thing and complain then as well. Take for instance the brand new crater 100 metres north of Frosty Mango, and 100 metres south of Ingham, same crater so the truckies tell me!

One bloke suggested he now knows where the moon came from. Very funny, but let’s keep away from trivial exaggerations, and describe it properly. So far we’ve lost two Greyhound buses, a harvester, and QR tell they’re waiting for the train to come out, been travelling for two days now.

Maybe we should build Blakeys Crossing over this pothole? There is a call to scrap the Blakeys Bridge, because ever since it’s been complete, we’ve not had a wet season! True.

I reckon we should have a fair dinkum NQ Aussie Exaggeration comp, on the best description of this new Crater on the Bruce, like “This pothole is so big HOW BIG, it’s so big ...”. A kilo of prawns for the best answer.

An example, not exactly an ‘ Ex’ ample, because I haven’t said it yet, it’s more a Nowample, sorta. This pothole is so big – HOW BIG – it’s so big that when it rains it has its own tide.

Sincerely, watch out for it, it’s at the roadworks north of Frosty. Enjoy the journey, and wave, we’re not allowed to toot for some reason at the traffic controllers.

All the best on our roads, and if you’re near that pothole, if you yell loud enough into it, it’s so deep you may be able to order Chinese takeaway.

Happy Days