Teaching your children how to be kind is a valuable lesson

INSTEAD of “The most important thing is that you’re happy,” say “The most important thing is that you’re kind.”

Now today more than ever we need to be teaching our children how to be kind and compassionate.

There is no one way to stop bullying in our world whether it be at a school, online, in a workplace or in a family.

What is the opposite of bullying? Kindness, compassion and care for others. How would the world change if we focused on teaching children about kindness and thinking of other feelings as much as we focus on ribbons, merit certificates and accomplishments, I wonder.

So just how to you teach kindness? In many ways. Teaching your child ways to treat things, animals, insects, and people with care will teach him that actions have consequences.

Show your child how to be gentle. Teach them that hands give love and show your child how to be gentle to their friends, their baby sister, their pets and all animals in nature.

Be kind yourself as a parent. Your child is learning far more from how you act and how you speak than what you are trying to teach them. So if you are complaining about Grandma, then this is what they will grow up to hear and how they will then think about others. Try instead to be supportive and understanding.

Pull your child up on rudeness, don’t laugh. I often see parents laughing at a rude child even a toddler. Instead be firm and gentle about what it is they are doing that is rude and act where you can.

Apologise to your child yourself.

Enforce rules on behaviour. You need to have rules on what is acceptable and what isn’t. Just because you are a warm and loving parent doesn’t mean that your child will be exactly the same. So work out what behaviours are simply unacceptable. Then stick to it. Be consistent with your rules and discipline.

Expect your child to help at home: this means jobs and chores to help contribute to the family and to others. Whether it be clearing away the table, helping fold the washing or hang it on the line, tidying up or washing the car. Put a list of jobs on the fridge so your child can be reminded. When children help they feel if you act poorly they are contributing and useful. Children love this. And on those days when they complain or whine, gently remind them that they are part of a family and by helping they are helping the family. This is important in raising children who are considerate and helpful to others rather than children who just learn to take care of themselves.

These are some of the first steps to teaching kindness to our children. We need to start giving our children the message that being kind is the most important achievement rather than the academic and sporting achievements. I will share some more steps in my next column. This is a great start.