CENTRE’S PLEA FOR HELP
A NORTH QUEENSLAND WOMAN WHO GREW UP WATCHING HER FATHER VIOLENTLY ABUSE HER MOTHER HAS BACKED CALLS TO BOOST FUNDS FOR THE SUPPORT CENTRE THAT SAVED HER LIFE. CLARE ARMSTRONG TELLS HER STORY
A WOMAN who spent “every other weekend” as a child at Townsville Women’s Centre insists the service needs all the help it can get.
More than 1000 people signed a petition asking the State Government to fund a new building for the service, which has helped more than 350,000 women. The centre has become so rundown its staff fear for their safety.
AMANDA,* 32, said one of her earliest childhood memories was visiting the Townsville Women’s Centre with her mother, who was subjected to horrific domestic violence by her father.
“From as far back as I can remember as a little kid ... until I left home at 15, we used the centre,” she said.
“And when I say we utilised the services, I’m talking every second weekend.”
Amanda said at the time it felt “normal” for men in her indigenous community to harm the women.
“You knew it was going to happen so when you started hearing raised voices just all the kids would go into a room and shut the door,” she said.
“There were six of us including a few cousins my mum had adopted ... and we were often woken in our beds by cops to be taken to services because mum had been flogged or was in hospital.”
She said her mother was isolated without family or friends so the Women’s Centre was her “go to” for help.
“When we’d leave ( home) we’d have nothing so staff would give us clothes to wear, food vouchers and referrals for services,” she said.
“Sometimes they didn’t even have anything and they’d find some loaves of bread or something for us to eat.”
Amanda said she always thought of the centre as a “safe place”.
“There was no fighting, no swearing ... we could go there and play, there’d even be toys,” she said.
Amanda said despite the support of Women’s Centre staff her mother always returned to her abusive father.
“The hospital trips, the broken arms, the legs – all the years of broken bones, split skulls and she still went back every time.
“You can never understand but even though there was 95 per cent abuse, with my mum that 5 per cent of good made up for it,” she said.
Amanda said before she started visiting friends’ houses as a teenager the centre was how she learned the violence was unacceptable.
“Growing up in the family that I did ... people would just stand around and watch.
“Of course even as a kid you knew it was wrong, but it was really confusing, you didn’t understand how come no one jumped in,” she said.
Amanda said a lot had changed in the last few decades but the need for the centre had not.
“Back then no charges were laid, never anything ... the police would just come and the woman and kids were removed,” she said.
“I remember they fixed ( the centre) up and it was good there for a while but it would be old now ... I don’t know how they manage. That centre needs everything it can get.”
Amanda said she had a “lot of hate” for her parents when she first became a mother.
“Then when I got older again I realised my mum was a victim of domestic violence and my dad was also a victim of domestic violence,” she said.
“He was severely sexually abused, starved and bashed as a child.
“It’s no excuse for what he did, but I don’t think people understand how hard it is, how acceptable it is in some families. It just goes round in circles each generation.”
Amanda said her father never turned on his children until they were older and tried to jump in front of their mum to protect her. “You’d just cop the floggings because it was better than mum getting it,” she said.
Amanda said the centre was always her mum’s lifeline.
“She was real strong my mum, she always got us out of the house when it was too bad.
“You didn’t know a stronger person than my mum, no one else could ever give us any grief, but for some reason my dad just crumbled her.”
* Name changed for privacy reasons.
WE WERE OFTEN WOKEN IN OUR BEDS BY COPS TO BE TAKEN TO SERVICES BECAUSE MUM HAD BEEN FLOGGED OR WAS IN HOSPITAL