Grappling with bullies
“FOR God’s sake,’’ one mother told me, “can you just ban mobile phones at school.’’
She’d stopped me in a supermarket, determined to be heard, and believed cyberbullying would cease if phones were left at home. “They go to school to learn, not to text each other.’’
A few days earlier, a father came to me with another request. “Promise me you won’t be silly enough to ban mobile phones at school,’’ he said.
“My daughter was bullied and it’s my wife’s lifeline. She needs to be able to talk to her at lunch time. Please.’’
Both these parents have teenage children – in these cases, girls – at the heart of their comments. But those two chats also show the enormous difference of opinion on how best to reduce cyberbullying.
The state’s anti- cyberbullying taskforce has only been sitting for three months, but has already heard from parents and schools, students and welfare organisations across the state.
As of today, almost 250 written submissions have also been received.
And where’s the consensus? There’s almost none, but early themes seem to be popping up.
Perhaps, by the time we report in August, they will be superseded by others, but at the moment people want clarity around what bullying means.
If it is a single nasty incident, and not a sustained attack, how do we improve the resilience of our children to respond?
Bullying is seen as a community- wide issue, and dare I say it, politicians are often pointed out as role models our children don’t need.
If they want us to reduce bullying, why do they deal with each other with such venom?
Parents need assistance. At the moment, few children burst through the front door wanting to talk about being bullied.
How do parents elicit that information and what resources might help them do that?
To whom should they go when their child is subject to serious cyberbullying – police, their school … the alleged bully’s parents?
What about the role of schools? Should they investigate alleged bullying that happens at 2am from a home computer?
What should be the consequences for a student bullying another?
How do they make it easy for a student who is subject to bullying to seek assistance?
Our children need assistance through all this.
Schools often mandate the use of technology but our children don’t know how to use it appropriately.
And, as our inquiry is already showing, school students are not the only ones bullied. Youths with disabilities, and those into their early 20s, are also sometimes subject to appalling cyberbullying attacks.
Many people are also urging us to bring the big players – Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat etc – to account. Do they have a duty of care? What do you think their role here should be?
You can help us by forwarding your opinion. Your identity will be protected.
But for this to work, we need to investigate best practice the world over, and listen to what you want. You can email us at antibullyingtaskforce@ premiers . qld. gov. au, or lodge a submission at qld. gov. au/ cyberbullyingtaskforce.
It might not be your child we help. But it could be. Or the child you pass at the bus stop each morning. Or your child’s friend. Isn’t that worth the effort?
Madonna King is chair of the Queensland anticyberbullying taskforce which will make recommendations to the Government in August