Cairns misses the joke
IF OUR UNDERWATER MUSEUM HAPPENS, IT’S GOING TO BE HUGE.
Phew, Townsville – I think we dodged a bullet. For those of you who didn’t see comedian Tom Gleeson’s travel show parody in his regular slot on Charlie Pickering’s ABC program The Weekly, our northern neighbour copped quite the character assassination.
A satirical take on Getaway, titled Go Away – Cairns featured Gleeson highlighting the “attractions” on offer up the highway, but served them with a healthy dose of satire – which, depending on your sense of humour or your location, was either laugh- out- loud hilarious or “how dare he” outrageous.
You’ll find it on the Townsville Bulletin Facebook page, with the vast majority of commenters enjoying the tropical piss- take.
Gleeson praised Port Douglas but poked fun at Cairns’ dead reef, absent mayor, backpacker population, climate ( like a human armpit, he said), chairlift, and the casino’s indoor rooftop zip line ( which was news to me, I’ll be checking that out next time I’m there.)
He said “Cairns is the gateway to the Great Barrier Reef in the same way that marijuana is a gateway to meth”, and “If you enjoy swimming in a place that’s a cross between a beach and a pool, but not as good as either, the Esplanade Lagoon is for you”, prompting me to think between laughing fits, “lucky he didn’t come here”.
A Cairns Post reporter missed the humour and Gleeson’s comedy credentials. Gleeson’s campaign for Grant Denyer and his axed show literally won him the Gold Logie, an achievement based solely on audiences getting the joke.
But it’s definitely a schadenfreude situation; had it been our fair city in the firing line we too might have struggled to see the funny side, but with only Launceston and Cairns being roasted so far – Cairns definitely took one for the North Queensland team.
Commenters on Facebook got in on the act, suggesting he could feature our death- defying roundabout usage, unsynchronised traffic lights, getting a park in the city, getting a parking ticket for being four seconds over time in the city, getting robbed or assaulted – the list went on, but the truth is any publicity is good publicity, and the sketch showed plenty of Cairns’ assets to a national audience. So what are ours?
As an Airbnb host, my guests come to Townsville with a very short list – for sunshine, to visit Magnetic Island and to see a koala, before most head up the highway to snorkel and dive.
A nearby military wreck like the HMAS Tobruk, ( scuttled last month between Hervey Bay and Bundaberg in a stuff- up that saw it land on its side) would be an unbelievable drawcard – and since they also tell me the reef is dying ( I’ll take their feedback over lobbyist propaganda,) if our underwater museum happens, it’s going to be huge.
So with news this week that Palm Island is planning a shopping centre, perhaps it won’t be too long before the pristine island paradise can be another addition to the must- see list.
If it’s nature they want, we’ve got it.
Surely all we need now for a win/ win situation is a large fenced habitat for our captured crocs!