MENTAL BATTLE

THE images of crash scenes, crumpled bodies and unimaginable tragedies are burnt into the mind of a former Townsville paramedic who does not want other emergency workers to suffer in silence as he once did.

John Rathbone, who served as a paramedic in Townsville, Britain and Germany for 26 years, is urging his fellow first responders to speak up and break the stigma surrounding mental health in the force.

His plea comes as health workers put their lives on the line to help fight the COVID-19 pandemic, which is taking a toll on the mental and physical health of these heroes, especially in regional areas.

About one in every 10 emergency workers are suffering from PTSD, although rates are likely to be higher with retired workers, a report by the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists states.

The 51-year-old knew better than most how burying depression eventually overflows.

He told the Townsville Bulletin how scars from his career and a sudden family incident uncovered the depths of his depression, where he tried to steal a gun from a police officer in an attempt to take his own life.

The decision was methodical. He got dressed, made his bed and waited for the first police officer he saw to leave the Townsville Station one year ago.

“The pain that day was excruciating … I was totally distraught. That was the peak,” he said.

Thankfully, nearby officers pulled him away and no one was hurt.

Mr Rathbone said years of confronting crime scenes, road crashes and house fires led to him being medically retired from the service in 2017 with post-traumatic stress disorder, a factor in his suicide attempt.

He recounted being present at horrific scenes, including having to choose which member of a dying family he had to try to save first.

“PTSD is an accumulation of stresses and emotions … and at some point they start to leak out,” he said.

“Emergency workers hide their mental health from their employer because of the stigma.

“Being a paramedic is a challenging job and mentally exhausting, but we are dedicated.”

Mr Rathbone was punished by the courts for his actions but recently appealed to have his convictions scratched from the record so he could continue his PHD studies for clinical toxinology.

Since the incident, the internationally renowned medical worker was in “remission”, but said not every day was perfect.

He urged other emergency workers to speak up and take their mental health seriously, and he even sent the victim police officer a gift in an effort to spark tough conversations with colleagues over a coffee.

“You have to be the willing participant in your life. Nothing will get better if you don’t try to fix it.”