Game on for Premiers
LATEST LEAGUE THRUSTS STATE AND TERRITORY LEADERS INTO NO-HOLDS-BARRED BATTLE FOR POINTS
We are a proud sporting nation.
Relegated to armchair enthusiasts, highlight reels from the archives have helped remind us of the old days of crowded stadiums, where we queued for beers, food and loos.
Ah, fun times.
But just as we have the goahead to trickle back to stadiums, an exciting new blood-sport has emerged.
Watch out, WWE, because the breakout newcomer of 2020 is the no-holds-barred Premier’s Cup.
Nothing to do with the
Premier League, this new sport is all about Premiers’ controlling our State borders.
The rules are simple.
Each Premier, or in the case of the Northern Territory, the Chief Minister, makes up their own.
And like the bitter rivalry seen in State of Origin, it’s been on like Donkey Kong.
You would hope there’s a strategy to this new code, but as we are unable to wander onto the field or into the changerooms for the half-time address, the only game-plan we’ve been able to glean so far is that classic nonanswer so beloved by coaches, “We’re taking it one day at a time.’
Let’s start with Queensland’s ‘fitness’ coach, Chief Health Officer Dr Jeannette Young.
Dr Young has chosen to ignore the Federal governing body’s recommendations for our injuryfree State to get amongst it, insisting we protect ourselves by maintaining an impenetrable scrum for an indeterminate period.
Despite her match-fit playing list, Coach Palaszczuk is backing her medical expert by benching our best player which has resulted in a sharp dive towards the bottom of the economic ladder. Madness.
Then there’s the NT, which also went with the ‘locals only’ rule of play.
Chief Minister Michael Gunner reckoned southern states were ‘bullies’ in wanting borders reopened too quickly and stuck to his game plan. As a result, the NT avoided any penalties but nobody can go into touch there until after the school holidays.
Slow game.
West Australian coach Mark Mcgowan also kept things locked down, and when told the Federal Deputy Health Officer Professor Paul Kelly had said there was no basis for that strategy, Mcgowan smacked down his fellow Sandgroper with a crushing, ‘Who’s that’?
Score!
NSW Coach Gladys Berejiklian hasn’t been taken seriously since allowing international player Ruby Princess to sneak into their clubrooms. No Premiers want to play NSW, with Berejiklian missing the irony of her statement, ‘We proudly say we’re the global city of Australia, we’re the gateway to Australia. And we’ve taken on that role during the pandemic.’
Sin bin, Premier.
Victorian coach Dan Andrews put in some solid sledging towards one of his shared border teams, South Australia, saying ‘Who’d want to come to your city anyway?’
‘To get to W.A.’ is one answer, but SA obliged with an ‘up yours’ to Victoria by opening quarantine-free borders to WA, NT and Tasmanian residents.
Speaking of Tassie, they’ll still need to quarantine when they return home, so is it really worth leaving?
This leaves the Big Three, Queensland, NSW and Victoria holding out to see which will fold first.
My guess?
Queensland tourism.