MARVELLOUS
THE hairstyle that is all business at the front, party at the back, the mullet, is back in vogue.
The look made famous by Billy Ray Cyrus, the man who inflicted Achy Breaky Heart on an unsuspecting global audience, was once all the rage, but like most fashions, this one spluttered and almost flamed out in the late 1990s.
I say “almost” because in some places you couldn’t kill the mullet with an axe and a pump action 12 gauge. Like sideburns, goatees and safari suits, the mullet refuses to lie down and play dead.
And now it’s back in force. We read this week that new-wave mullet enthusiasts are being refused entry to clubs and pubs because up’emselves venue managers sporting $100 razor cuts, consider the mullet bogan. As if. Some history is warranted.
The mullet was at its height in the 1980s and lingered well into the 90s. In Townsville, the species proved to be particularly hardy, surviving both the mullet ice age that lasted from the mid-1990s to 1999 and now the 2020 global coronavirus pandemic. Indeed, look carefully during your next shopping centre excursion and I can guarantee you will spot a stray mullet, underscored by the obligatory ‘flanny’ shirt, lurking in the forests of Number Ones,
Number Threes, Fades, Tapers and razored undercuts.
I RECALL a colleague telling me in the late 90s that “you know it’s time to leave Townsville when you start thinking mullets are normal”. She moved to Singapore and informed me with much glee not long after arriving that there was nary a mullet in sight.
MEANWHILE, there are those who think that the mullet should be allowed to run wild, run free. Central Queensland University hairdressing teacher Kellie Donovan told our barber shop roundsman Mick Thompson this week that people should not be judged on their hairstyles, especially given the resurgence of the mullet. Hear, hear. What she was really saying is that if you see a mullet-head walking towards you in a dark alley, it does not necessarily mean you are about to be relieved of your wallet – and worst case scenario – your life. Yeah, well, Ms Donovan can believe this if she wants to, but frankly I’d spin around and leg it in the opposite direction as fast as I could.
AND just to prove that Townsville is big enough to accommodate all hair styles, I phoned Paul Venturato at that wellknown, inner city, trendsetters watering hole, the Herbert Hotel in Sturt St. As far as Paul is concerned, mullet-heads are welcome as long as they behave and yes, the same goes for the mullet-head ladies. “We don’t care if they’re bald, got a mullet or whatever, we discriminate against everyone if they don’t respect our place,” Paul said.
JUST to prove he is mullettolerant, one of Paul’s mates is ocker comedian and former Maggie Island resident, Chris Franklin. This is the same Chris Franklin who performed the classy hit singles Mullet Head and Bloke. You can sometimes find Chris having a sherbet at the Herbert when he is back in the North. Now, here is something the sisterhood will love; Bloke is sung to the tune of Meredith Brooks’s 1997 female power anthem, Bitch. Google Bitch and play it and then do the same with Bloke. Go ahead. It’s worth it. Here are a few lines from Bloke. As I said, it’s all class.
“I’m a bloke
I’m an ocker
And I really love your knockers I’m a labourer by day
I piss up all my pay