Merrick Watts

Age: 46. Job: Comedian, broadcaster and SAS Australia contestant

Do you get your five a day?

Fruit Loops covers most of this effectively but I do try to get a balance of protein, carbs and veg every day. As a great ‘on the go combo’ I’ll have a banana with so much crunchy peanut butter on it that it looks something far less appetising. Another good combo – cornichons or pickles wrapped in a Kraft single blanket. So good.

Have you ever dieted?

I tried the cabbage soup diet in the ‘90s but who didn’t? I lost a lot of weight (12 kgs) about four years ago by cutting out white bread and white rice and adding more protein. Many people quickly chop out alcohol, good luck to them. I have found that there are at least 10,000 other food groups you can work your way through before you need to totally lose the plot and cut out wines on Friday.

Sleep or sex?

You can always sleep another time.

What is your absolute blowout meal?

I am a mess when it comes to Vietnamese food. I am like a half labrador dog man. I don’t know when to stop. I love a spicy soup called Bun Bo Hue with some added fried spring rolls, but then I remember I also love the fresh ones, so I eat those too, and I don’t feel complete without a rice dish.

Have you had any operations? Broken bones?

All of them. From head down – three broken noses, two compressed discs in my neck, collar bone, at least six ribs, both arms, wrist, thumb, two fingers, leg, foot, two toes. Surgery – appendicitis, rhinoplasty, several ‘stitch ups’. On top of that I have been rushed to hospital twice for serious head trauma, one where my ear needed to be sewn back on and the other I had brain swelling. I’m held together with sticky tape and faded memories.

Biggest health mistake?

Smoking. I smoked for years because I looked awesome doing it but then someone told me that cigarettes are unhealthy and I was like, ‘What?’ I now really hate even the smell of cigarettes and have become one of those reformed smokers. Waste of time, money and health.

What regular vitamins do you take?

Magnesium is an absolute must. I also take fish oils and smash a Berocca after a run. If I don’t take magnesium I get twitches in my eyes, that then migrate through the larger muscles. If I had an arse to speak of, they would make their way there but I don’t, I have a tiny bum that I beefup by wearing two wallets.

Health advice you would have given yourself 10 years ago?

“Mate, put down the Snickers bar.”

Would you have plastic surgery?

No. I’m a classic. You don’t put a balcony on the Pyramids.