BE A ROLE MODEL

IT’S hard for any parent to let go, but now is the time, according to the experts.

Your Year 11 and Year 12 child is on the final leg of their 13-year school journey.

But what happens if you don’t agree with their career choice? Shouldn’t they be studying, rather than looking at their phone? Social affairs reporter JULIE CROSS, with help from Quirky Kid child psychologist Kimberley O’brien, Kids First Children’s Services Founder Sonja Walker, The Cyber Safety Lady, Leonie Smith, Alcohol and Drug Foundation CEO Erin Lalor and Reachout CEO Ashley de Silva, answers your questions.

What should I expect of my child in years 11 and 12?

By this time kids are thinking about their future, what job they want to pursue and whether they want to go to university or get an apprenticeship.

These are big choices, but if your child has a passion for something you need to support them. Try not to be judgmental on what they want to do, they need to forge their own path and the parent-child relationship is more important. This is when parents need to start letting go.

How can I get them to concentrate on studying?

Self moderation is something kids need to learn when it comes to online use.

When they go to TAFE, university or get a job they need to be able to use their phones appropriately.

Teach them how to set their phone aside, even if it’s just for 15 minutes at a time so they can get tasks done. Use the settings on the device that help restrict use. Apple has a setting called Focus that can turn off notifications. Try not to micromanage their time, they need to do it themselves. Parents need to let them learn to gently fail.

What to watch out for? Older kids are being caught out by cryptocurrency scams and investments.

Make sure they are across scams and keep the porn filter on too.

What about drugs, sex and alcohol?

Try to teach your children they can socialise without alcohol and emphasise the need for them to take care of their health. Talk to them about how drugs can impact mental health.

MDMA is a drug that some older teens may begin to experiment with.

Try to find out why they are drinking or taking drugs, some do so to cope with challenges in their lives.

Help them find healthier alternatives, such as exercise or meditation. Be a role model.

However, experimenting with drugs and alcohol is very typical in this age group and younger. Don’t be in denial and don’t shame them, it is normal.

But if you notice a change in mood or behaviour, sleeping habits or hygiene seek help from your GP or another health professional. Go to reachout.com for help and support on how to talk to your child about these issues. There are also courses on sexting, pornography, sexual decision making and consent that parents can sign up for at yourchoicez.com.au.

What are the best tips for this age group?

Make sure there is structure outside of school, perhaps help them find a part-time job, a volunteering role or keep up the sport.