TIME FOR A JOKE

FRED was given a pet parrot for his birthday.

Turned out the parrot had spent most of its life in a cage in a pubfrequented by ruffians working the tug boats and merchant vessels and as a consequence had a consummate knowledge of all themajor swear words. Fred did what he could to get the parrot to stop swearing.

He’d talk to it quietly, play classical music and place the cage in front of the telly so the parrot could watch opera andballet.

Fred was hoping all of this would make the delinquent bird cultured and refined and that it would give up its vulgarways.

But, no matter what he did the parrot would tell him to “f#@^ off” every time he came near its cage.

This was when it was being polite. You should have heard it go off when it really fired up. Fred ‘lost it” one day when hissweet old maiden aunt came for a visit and the parrot regaled her with every four letter word it could get hold of.

The old lady was so shocked she fainted onto the couch and had to be revived with a shandy.

When she left, a furious Fred went to the cage, caught the parrot and put it in the deep freeze as punishment.

He left it in there for about 20 seconds, thinking it might do the trick.

Fred opened the door the parrot hopped out and said, “hello Frederick, my dear chap, I fear I may have offended you with mycoarse language.

Please forgive me, but I had a terrible upbringing, no parental discipline and only ever hearing the coarse language of tugboat crewmen and wharf workers.

I have now seen the error of my ways and wish only to develop my appreciation of opera and ballet”. Fred was astounded andwas about to ask it something when the parrot continued…”and Frederick, my dear chap, may I ask, what did the chicken do?”