HAPPY AS ME
An online community is supporting busy mothers to appreciate their bodies for what they do, not what they look like. Mums like these radiate health and fitness, not judgment, and their new-found contentment shows
THIS is me – and like it or lump it, I’m proud. That’s the message from five mums who have stripped off to show off the bodies they love, in the same way Goop’s Gwyneth Paltrow did for her famed 50th birthday gold body paint shoot. It’s a glittery reminder that every type of body should be celebrated – and particularly as we enter beach season – a gentle nudge for women to love their bodies, no matter what their shape or size.
They’ve done it to mark the 12th anniversary of The Healthy Mummy, the country’s No. 1 health, fitness and wellness program founded to empower mums to live a healthier life.
Mother-of-two Rhian Allen started the movement when she was pregnant with her first child. Now thriving on the global stage in the UK and US, and recently acquired by ASX listed Halo Food Co, The Healthy Mummy is set to expand into major grocery and mass market retailers next year, which will notably grow market share and the online community, currently 1.5 million mums.
“I started it as I was pregnant with my first baby and I quickly realised that there was nothing that existed to help busy and tired mums, on a tight budget, regain their health and confidence after having children,” Allen tells Weekend.
“When I had my first baby, I experienced first-hand the body image issues so many mums have.
“My body had changed so much – not just from the aesthetic perspective but also from what it could and couldn’t do.
“It was a whole new world.
“For me it was about education and learning about how a woman’s body changes after birth and what was physically safe to do with exercise but also learning to love your new body and embrace a new chapter in your life.
“Over the years I have come to love my body and I would never compare [myself] to a celebrity or anyone else.
“My body is my body and for me the focus is on being healthy and strong – not what it looks like.”
She says it’s critical to focus on your health, and not compare yourself to anyone else – a habit made worse by social media and the world’s obsession with perfection.
“Love your body and treat it well and embrace everything that your body can do,” she says.
“I feel so sad and frustrated when women feel bad about how they look,” she says.
“It is so important to remember that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and the focus should be on your health and happiness – not on trying to look like a size 6 model or celebrity.
“I love when we see bodies of all different shapes and sizes in the media as it normalises the different types of bodies we all have and I would love to see more and more of this so women can see more women who look like them.”
My kids see me as a confident and outgoing mum; they know that I exercise to get strong and fit
offerssustainablesolutions to support mums with their health and fitness.
According to Monash University, more than 43 per cent of Australians are highly concerned about their body image. Negative body image can lead to extreme dieting, excessive exercise and the pursuit of cosmetic surgery. It’s also the strongest risk factor for the development of eating disorders, the most deadly of all mental illnesses.
For these women, health begins with their mindset.
Newcastle 37-year-old Lauren Kolstad is size 18 and rocking her strong body. And while the mother of two says she feels no pressure to look a certain way, it has taken years for her to get to that point.
“I enjoy fashion and wearing clothes that make me feel great, no matter the size on the tag, and I love that my kids see me as a confident and outgoing mum as they know that I exercise to get strong and fit, not to change my body size,” she says.
“I have grown into myself – the things that I worried about when I was younger – body wise, personality wise – are no longer front of mind. I’m more secure in who I am.”
Kolstad says she struggled with body image when she was younger and even now has days where she feels less confident.
“When I was younger I was really sporty and the names on the playground: ‘Mrs Masculine’ and ‘testosterone woman’ made me feel insecure. I’ve also gone through some weight gain and at times struggled with that,” she says.
“Now into my late 30s, I worry less about what others think of me.
“While I’m not always 100 per cent body confident – I never let that stop me from enjoying life and wearing great clothes.
“I wanted to do this shoot because I never want my body or my size to stop me from saying ‘yes’ to things, and I think it’s really important for all women to see a body shape like theirs represented.
“As a society we’ve come a long way, but there’s always room to do more.
“Show more, represent more, be more inclusive.
“I want that world for my kids and me.” To people struggling with their own body image, she says the first step is to challenge the negative thinking.
“I even wrote down some of the negative thoughts and then came up with a positive spin to it, so when I’d start down the path of thinking less of myself, I already had a positive counterthought prepared,” she says.
“It helped a lot.
“If you practise focusing on the good, it will come more and more naturally.
“Healthy to me is a holistic approach to how you live your life, and finding the right balance to have your body functioning at its best.
“I want to role model empowerment for both my son and daughter.
“I’m fairly conservative in how I dress, but I make sure I never change what I plan on wearing because I’m worried about what others may think.
“So that means I wear shorts on a hot day, I rock a bikini at the beach – I’m not making clothing choices like I would when I was younger, like wearing a cardigan to cover my arms but sweltering in the heat.”
Beacon Hill 32-year-old Sascha Farley has four children under eight, and says the journey she’s had with her body led her to truly realise that a woman’s worth isn’t attached to a number, or what we look like.
“It has been a big, long, hard journey that has finally reached a point of peace,” she says.
“My whole life has been a body image struggle.
“My worth was always attached to how I looked, the number on the scales and it’s been hard to steer away from that pressure.
“It felt like this all-consuming cloud that was always lingering and leaves you on high alert about your appearance, which is exhausting and really gives an empty feeling because no matter the clothes you buy, the weight you shift, the things you try, nothing works until you actually fix what’s going on more deeply for you.
“I’m 85kg and I range from a size 10-16 – but numbers mean nothing to me now … my only goal is to feel energised and strong.
“I think the journey I have personally been on has proven to me that numbers and size mean nothing.
“At my smallest, which was 66kg, I was my most miserable and most selfconscious and I think that’s because I thought being in a smaller body would fix everything and when it didn’t, I just snowballed more until I finally pulled myself out of the hole.”
She says now feeling comfortable in her skin has made her a better mum at the same time – and fellow mother-of-four Krystal Poles agrees. The 37-year-old Coffs Harbour woman says it’s only been in the past two years that she’s learned to love her body.
“I used to suffer from depression but I believe starting off the day with a positive attitude helps” she says.
“Practising self-love and looking after myself is a priority to ensure I’m a great role model for my children.
“I no longer wear baggy clothes to cover up and why should I? This is my body and it is loved.
“I have a good relationship with my body and as I’ve gotten older, it has become easier.
“I don’t want to take my body for granted. “After I had my kids, I was the biggest I’d ever been,” she recalls. “Buying size 16 jeans, I was in tears. “Losing 20kg, and I was able to shed the weight after I had my fourth child, I have a lot of confidence within myself now.”
Now a size 10, her goal is to maintain that, but more importantly, to continue to respect her body.
“I was honoured to be a part of this amazing shoot – I wanted to prove to myself how far I’ve come in my journey and be a part of something amazing,” she says. “When I was overweight, I would compare my body to women who were thinner than me. It was horrible for my mental health.
“But these days, I’ve learnt to let go and love myself for who I am.
“My path to empowerment has been amazing.
“I’ve had my ups and definitely had my downs – but I kept pushing through and now
I’m in my happy place.
“Remember, we are women. We are powerful and we can achieve anything we put our minds to.”
Thirtythree-year-old Melissa Timmer has two children and admits body confidence has taken a long time to achieve.
But she says it has been a worthwhile experience.
“I know that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
“I am so grateful now to understand that to love and take care of my body for it has given me, is so worthwhile.
“It took me a long time to find my body confidence but with the support of the amazing Healthy Mummy community I have found it. “I have never felt so positive in my life, and that’s why I jumped at the chance to be featured in today’s photo shoot.
“All women should try it, no matter what their body shape – it’s liberating!” Young Australians regularly rate body image issues as one of the top concerns in Mission Australia’s National Youth survey.
Research from The Butterfly Foundation, which offers support for anyone with eating disorder or body image problems, shows the negative effect social media has on body image, with 42 per cent of respondents using filters to improve the way they look on social media and 62 per cent saying they felt pressure to look a certain way online.
As Laura Kukulovski has grown older, and after having had her three kids, she has learnt to see her body not with a sense of vanity – but respect and appreciation.
“As a child and a teen I was actually always quite thin, but unhealthy.
“Even though I was thin, I definitely struggled back then to love my body and feel comfortable in my own skin,” the 31-year-old from Wagga Wagga says. “I was very critical of myself which then also led to bad self-esteem.
“For me personally, I overcame this self image obstacle as I got older and learnt to love myself.”
For her, it’s not about weight.
“I opt to not use scales often if at all – I just think there’s so many factors that come into play and it can really start to become an obsession for me that isn’t a healthy mindset,” she says.
“I think all women deserve to feel fabulous and not care what size we are or what this or that person thinks.
“It’s the most empowering and freeing feeling.
“I see being healthy as being strong and content with who you are.
“For me it’s a huge part of life and when my mindset changed on how I viewed myself and my body life just got better, I no longer have that social anxiety when I go out …
“I just do me, and I love it.
“The thing that inspires me the most is a woman who knows what she wants and is not afraid to go after it.
“That’s confidence, that strength and that’s who I aspire to be.”