Joy MOR INNTHIE NG
The key to a joyful morning is not to feel too rushed
Adecade on from the launch of her best-selling The LifeChanging Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo is back with new wisdom on how to transform your life and home into spaces of calm. In her new book, the Netflix star revisits her signature query of “does it spark joy”, applying it to mindset and behaviour, inspired by the Japanese concept of kurashi, or “way of life”.
WHAT KIND OF MORNING WOULD BOOST YOUR JOY FACTOR ALL DAY LONG?
For me, the best way to start my day is to open the window and let in some fresh air.
When we wake in the morning, I think we’re a completely different person from who we were the day before. Sleep has dispelled any pent-up frustrations, and we feel brand new. So, the first thing I want to do is let the fresh air cleanse my space of any lingering fogginess.
I light some incense, choosing fragrances such as frankincense, lavender, or palo santo, depending on my mood. In many places, incense smoke is used to symbolically purify a space, which is why it’s burned during Buddhist ceremonies to drive away misfortune.
Once I feel refreshed, I say, “Good morning!” to my house just like I would greet my family – a custom I started when I began living on my own. To refresh my body, every morning I rinse out my mouth and gargle.
I recently began using Ayurvedic oil as a rinse, a custom known as oil pulling. Once my mouth feels clean, I drink a cup of hot water. This helps clear my stomach before I eat breakfast. Whenever possible, I wait until I feel hungry before eating, doing some housework or finishing up a work-related task first so my gut begins working. I find that eating breakfast after I’ve cleaned out my system really boosts my metabolism, making me feel lighter and more energetic.
FAMILY MORNINGS ARE LIKE CONDUCTING A SYMPHONY
The key to a joyful morning is not to feel too rushed. I think it’s important to allow yourself a little extra time. My husband gets up around 4am, so by the time I wake up at 6am, he has already gotten a fair bit of work done. I wake the children at 6.30 so they can start getting ready for school. Then we all sit down to a leisurely breakfast before the children leave.
That’s my family’s idea of how to spend a joyful morning.
The key to making extra time is to always return everything you need in the morning to its designated spot, one that has been chosen for ease of use. The children, for example, will need such things as their hairbrushes, school bags, and water bottles to get ready for school. We keep these in clearly designated spots so that everything goes smoothly when they wake up, with no time wasted rushing around looking for things. To ensure our children can get up in time, we make certain they go to bed early enough. Before bed, they choose the clothes they will wear the next day. This cuts down on the time they need to get ready in the morning. If they sleep in and it looks like we won’t have as much time, we switch the menu to easy-to-eat finger foods, such as rice balls stuffed with something nutritious. That way we don’t have to nag our children to hurry.
Whether you have children or not, the approach is the same. Consider what you can do in the evening to avoid a big rush in the morning, and then prepare in advance to make everything go as smoothly as possible. With time to spare, your morning will be sure to spark joy.
Why not give yourself the gift of a lovely morning complete with your favourite music?
PUT THOUGHT INTO CUSTOMISING YOUR MORNING
I describe what I consider to be an ideal morning now that my family and I live in America. I have transitioned from being a single working person to being married and then to being a parent. Of course, I wasn’t able to achieve my ideal right from the start. To be honest, my mornings were often such a mad rush when I was single that I couldn’t even remember what I had done. And if I slept in, the whole morning was shot.
One day, however, I sat down and seriously considered what my ideal morning would look like. I opened my notebook and wrote down how I would like to spend my morning, including a time schedule and a photo of a delicious-looking breakfast taken from a magazine. Every so often I would look at this page, until gradually I almost forgot it existed. Then one day, I realised my mornings had become just like my ideal. Based on personal experience, I believe that creating moments of joy between the time we get up and the time we leave the house or start work can dramatically increase our joy factor for the rest of the day. Of course, not everyone’s ideal is to get ready to leave home at such a leisurely pace.
One of my clients told me her ideal is to leave the house within 10 minutes of getting up and enjoy some time away from home before work. She gets everything ready the night before, takes 10 minutes to shower, dress, and put on her makeup, then goes out for breakfast in a cafe. You might think achieving your ideal morning is an impossible dream, but once you’ve finished putting your house in order, it often happens quite naturally.
So how would you like to start your day? What kind of morning would boost your personal joy factor all day long?
CREATE A HARMONIOUS FAMILY SCHEDULE
Raising children can be quite challenging for parents. If you’re a parent, believe me, I can relate. One never-ending issue is how to balance work and child-rearing, while another is how to create a support system with your family and the others around you.
In our case, one important way for my husband and I to create a harmonious family schedule is to make sure we each get a block of time alone to concentrate on what we need to get done. Many elements of our children’s schedules can’t be changed, so we start by aligning our schedules with theirs. Going to bed at the same time as the children and waking up at 4 in the morning to work seems to suit my husband’s rhythm best. I, on the other hand, like to get my most important tasks done while the children are out. We adjust our work schedules so that one of us can be there for the children when they come home. Of course, when we’re both out on business, we arrange for someone else to pick the children up from school and take care of them until we get back.
Each person’s rhythm is different. Some find it easier to make time early in the morning. Others are at their best at night. What’s important is for parents to consult and ensure they can schedule some personal time during the day when it’s easiest for them to focus. Instead of assuming that having children means we can never have a moment to ourselves, we need to change our mindset and relish the challenge of scheduling this time into our day.