Who is the bully?

After a recent heartfelt expression of frustration from a friend about the Safe Schools program I decided to see what the fuss was all about.

In looking at the program and people’s comments, I discover it is a hot topic that has stirred the blood of many. Not having school aged children, I didn’t even know it was a debate.

Bullying, like all dominant behaviours, is about power and the struggle to have it. Some inherit the tendency while others learn to get what they want by following their examples. Those that express it are often more in need of love and kindness than those they bully.

Children have always pushed the boundaries of their own power experimentation and the school environment is a perfect canvas for this. Most decide in a short while, that they don’t like the results of being a bully/bossy and become independent of thought or a “follower”. The minority rise to the occasion and make it an intentional reason to get up in the morning.

Parents naturally influence the directions taken by their children through being role models, sharing literature, family values and telling jokes.

Children will bully for any reason they can find, usually around difference. Colour, sexuality, speech impediments, affluence, what your parents do or are said to do. The options are endless.

So, whose problem is it and how do we help children and their parents learn to tolerate difference and be kind?

The Safe Schools program is one way to address one small group. Historically, to bring about change we generally tend to start at the extremes of the issue.

To me the Safe Schools document is no different. It reportedly seems to have been influenced by a woman whose beliefs are to the extreme of the general population but it is