Personal grief inspires calendar of stories
For Sallie Jones, a calendar telling the mental health stories of farmers was part of her own healing journey following the suicide of her dairy farming father two years ago.
A calendar featuring the mental health stories of 12 Gippsland farmers aims to break down the stigma of mental health in rural communities. By showing it is ok to speak out and by providing support details, Sallie says “if this calendar can save one life we’ve achieved something,”
In the calendar, Sallie tells the story of her father – Michael Bowen (ice cream king of Gippsland) - in the calendar, dedicating the calendar to his memory.
Her father lost his life to suicide on March 22, 2016. “That day was a life defining moment for me.”
“I absolutely loved my Dad. He was kind, compassionate and bold, a man who could make anything happen. His capacity for life equalled three men.
He worked hard, 18 hours most days, so that he could give our family every opportunity possible. He was as strong as an ox, physically and mentally. Nothing could break him…or so we thought.
I’ll never forget the Sunday afternoon when he walked into my kitchen and started crying. It was the first time I’d seen my dad cry.
He’d lost a lot of weight, which I believed was due to cutting out bread from his diet.
He’d also lost his enthusiasm for life, lost that fire in his belly. He no longer wanted his hair to be cut and was happy to sit on the couch all day.
It turns out these were the red flags of poor mental health.
Being the eldest daughter, I thought we could fix the matter as a family and get back to some normality in no time, but this was only the beginning of Dad’s mental health journey.
For three years we were in struggle town and eventually Dad entered a period of psychosis. He believed that the house was bugged and that people were watching him. We were almost convinced ourselves.
During this time our family rallied around him. Everyone was so kind and patient. We tried our absolute best to do everything we could to relieve his mental health and it was hard work.
Just when we thought we’d come through the worst of it, Dad took his own life.
He would never, ever have chosen to do this is he wasn’t completely broken and was suffering more hurt than we would ever know.
We are left with no answers, just a ripple of sadness and heartbreak.
Mental health is a serious illness that requires care, help and support. It cannot be left to fix itself, you must reach out and seek help,” Sallie said.
The calendar will be distributed to 1400 dairy farmers via milk tanker drops over the next few weeks. The calendar also is available at www.gippslandjersey.com.au
The calendar directs anyone need assistance to a number of support organisations including:
Lifeline 131 114; Men’s Line 1300 789978; Beyond Blue 1300 224636; Suicide call back service 1300 659467; and Family violence 1800 737732.
Over the coming weeks, The Gazette will share the stories of farmers in our area who feature in the calendar, beginning this week with Joe Meggetto and Michaela Whiting.
Joe and Michaela’s stories - p14