One mother’s tragic story of ‘the nightmare that doesn’t go away’
JUDI Taylor is not alone in having lost a child to suicide but what makes her heart ache all the more is the role Philip Nitschke’s Exit International played in her son’s death.
“To have someone commit suicide in your family is just awful but to then find out someone has guided them to that point and they are hailed as a hero is disgusting,” said Ms Taylor, whose 26-year-old son Lucas killed himself in 2012 after receiving online “encouragement” from fellow members of the pro-euthanasia group.
“It was Lucas’ decision but he was aided, abetted and coached all the way … there was a real sense of fellowship except this wasn’t about people seeking advice on what to do when travelling to Russia.
“It’s about people wanting to kill themselves.”
Ms Taylor, a Melbourne mother-of-three, contacted the Bulletin following coverage of Dr Nitschke’s recent visit to the Gold Coast as part of his “Euthanasia and Suicide for Dummies” tour.
“I feel this story has to be told,” she said of Lucas’ death, which she claims shines a different light on Exit International than the “romantic” image portrayed at its workshops.
A talented linguist living in Germany, Lucas was in regular contact with his mother until he dropped off the radar. Having reported him as a missing person with the Department of Foreign Affairs, the family hacked into his online accounts and discovered a world they never knew existed.
“We found an email from Exit about whether his (membership) payment had been made,” Ms Taylor said. “He always had a bit of a depressive personality … (but) we only found out he was suicidal when we saw those letters.
“We then accessed his Exit (online forum) account, read all his posts and it was absol- utely shocking. He was a member for five months and writing on the forum most nights and the more questions he asked, the more answers he got.
“Where do get that drug? How long will it take to kill you? I’m thinking about doing it in a motel – what does everyone else think?”
Then there was the issue Ms Taylor says no online forum members raised.
“No one talks about their illnesses,” she says. “No one says I’ve only got one lung and can’t bear this pain much longer. They just talk about killing themselves.
“Some of the things they were writing were just suicidal fantasies.”
Lucas’ body was eventually found at a war memorial cemetery in Germany, a final resting place he had discussed on the Exit forum. An autopsy said the cause of death was Nembutal, Dr Nitschke’s euthanasia drug of choice, which Lucas had bought in Peru upon advice from fellow members.
Reminded of Dr Nitschke’s belief that any “rational adult of sound mind” should have access to such information, Ms Taylor did not mince her words for the man dubbed “Dr Death”.
“My son might have been very depressed but how did they test if he was mentally sound?” she asked. “You can’t, especially in an online business like his.
“Lucas never spoke to anyone from Exit. The only time anyone from Exit spoke to him via email was about payments not being made. It was always peer-to-peer advice.
“Nitschke is financially involved and promotes suicide so that should come with some responsibility … but he can’t even say ‘We’re going to make sure this doesn’t happen again in the future’.
“The way he talks about suicide is as if it’s all such a great thing … but this is the nightmare that doesn’t go away.”
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