NOTHING ROCK AND ROLL ABOUT GRUNGY TRIPS TO BRISBANE

DON’T you just love counting down the days until a big concert?

No … me neither.

But I wasn’t always this lame.

I recall being super stoked about seeing Paul McCartney in 1990 (I was a weird 13-yearold) and couldn’t sleep the night before the Cure concert in 1992 (and a goth 15-yearold).

In fact, in my youth I was a hard-core gig goer. As the girlfriend of consecutive musos, it was my privilege and my duty to go to what felt like every live show at the Playroom. I can still smell those toilets if I close my eyes … especially if I’m standing in the bathroom after my son has used it.

I’ll admit I actually enjoyed attending the Big Day Outs circa 1990s/2000s.

One of my fondest memories is my mother gifting me and my then-boyfriend (the drummer) tickets to that very first GC BDO in 1994. Smashing Pumpkins, the Breeders, Soundgarden, Bjork … those were the days, dude.

But the best bit was when my pug Rocky snatched the tickets straight off the fridge and ate them.

I mopped out the mauled shreds from his snorting, drooling muzzle and was somehow able to muddle out a phone number on the back of one soggy shred.

I then had the pleasure of calling the organisers to explain that ‘the pug ate my tickets’. They issued me new ones. Rock’n’roll, man.

But something’s changed since those days.

The truth is, Brisbane has killed my gig boner.

There aren’t too many bands or artists I’d happily hand over hundreds of dollars to see live. But there are enough that the last gig I attended shouldn’t have been in 2011.

That’s when the Foo Fighters played Carrara’s Metricon Stadium.

That’s also when I could simply catch a bus straight after the encore and be home in 20 minutes. That’s when a two-hour gig didn’t turn into an all-nighter of battling traffic or multiple legs of public transportation.

This week a girlfriend rang to ask me if I wanted to see Pink.

Look, I like Pink. I don’t love her, but I hear she puts on an amazing show.

Plus, a night out with the old girls would be fun. Paying $250 not so much, but given what the husband just spent on a new bike, I’m not going to sweat it.

But then I realised the gig is at Brisbane Entertainment Centre in Boondall.

No. Nope. Not gonna happen.

That place is the death trap of all good times. The travel, the traffic, the very venue itself.

Why can’t artists come to the Gold Coast instead? They all stay with us, for God’s sake.

Sure, Bon Jovi are playing here next year … but a girl has her standards.

Unfortunately, the majority of the time we’re doomed by our (very amazing) location. With the big brother capital just up the road, we’re destined to play second fiddle.

But, Pink, please listen to reason (and the ocean … you won’t hear that in BrisVegas) …won’t you make us lead gig guitar?