Drowning ’a tragedy
Mourners unable to make sense of surfer’s loss
SCOTT Gemmell handed out some advice yesterday.
To his grieving sister. To his brave nephews. To their shattered friends.
To the young women with tears streaming down their faces. To the old blokes with lumps filling their throats.
To the 120 people seated inside the chapel at Melalecua Station Memorial Gardens. To the 700 more hanging on his every word outside. That advice?
“If you’re looking for answers as to why – don’t,” he said. “Just stop – change your thoughts.”
That’s because there’s no rational explanation why the hands of fate should decide Kingscliff’s Dylan Carpenter can head for a surf at Fingal and never get to come home.
“Last Sunday, five long days ago, that boy turned our world upside down,” Mr Gemmell said in a eulogy that not only did his 20-year-old nephew proud but also himself.
“We realise he didn’t do it intentionally. Those events were a freak accident that has taken our boy far too soon.
“Put simply, it was a tragedy that is beyond cruel.”
Never has a truer word been said and it is cruellest of all for a family that stretches the definition of that word to the very limit.
“My family are very closeknit,” Mr Gemmell said of a clan long tied to the Tweed.
“Our cousins are like brothers and sisters. Our uncles and aunties are like mums and dad, and that includes our mum and dad’s closest friends.
“My sister Natalie – well, she certainly carried that tradition on.”
Natalie is Dylan’s mum, a woman who yesterday had to do what every parent fears and, in a perfect world, should never have to do.
Twenty years ago, with husband Jason by her side, she was the first of her friendship circle to have a child. That beautiful boy was Dylan.
Two more sons followed within three years – Hayden and Kyle. Then along came little Ava to round out the clan.
Amid a myriad of speakers at the funeral – an aunt, family friends, a former boss, countless mates – two young men stood particularly tall. Along with their big brother, they were simply ‘The Carpenter Boys’.
“I love you. I’ll always love you,” Kyle said of his “idol”.
“Every conversation, we’d always end with ‘I’ll see you when I see you, love ya’.”
Hayden painted a picture of an elder brother who protected and cared for his younger siblings, a “leader” who was the “most genuine person on this Earth”.
“Dylan, you are the person myself and so many people aspire to be,” he said.
“When I needed you, you were always there for me.”
Hayden then brought the house down with an example.
“My first heart break you picked me up,” he recalled.