IT'S TIME TO LOSE FEAR OF THE ‘F’ WORD
Feminism is not about being pro-women at the expense of men. All women want is a level playing field with a dash of respect ... so take note faceless commenters
BINGEING is making me sick.
It’s not that I’m stuffing my face with chocolate (okay, I am), or downing too much wine (erm, define ‘excessive’), nor indulging in inordinate exercise (literally never) … it’s watching TV.
It started innocently enough with Outlander. What’s not to love about a series that combines time travel with history with hot Scottish men in kilts … and, even better, out of them?
But my latest obsession is far darker than 50 shades of tartan.
It’s The Handmaid’s Tale. Just one season has been released thus far – and thank God for that. I don’t know how much more I can take.
Weeks later it’s still keeping me awake. Because the dystopian future it details – first imagined by author Margaret Atwood in 1985 – in which women have lost all rights and are instead wombs with legs, feels all too familiar.
I don’t mean to be offensive here, but the best way to describe it is a world where internet commenters have taken over.
Actually, stuff it. Those commenters are great at dishing the offence, surely they can cop a bit in return? They’re all adults, right?
Which is precisely why they frighten me.
These are men – and women – who no doubt appear rational and educated.
Yet once they are behind the safety of the keyboard, the animal inside takes over. There is no more pretence towards PC. Prejudice and bigotry are laid bare.
They type things they would never say to my face, but they’ll say it to my screen.
I can deal with that. It’s just keyboard warriors who don’t have the courage of their convictions – unlike this column where I attach my name, my face, my contact details and stand behind what I say and what I believe.
But what would happen in a world where the commenters came out from behind the computer?
Of course, when you look at the US, you could argue this takeover has already started to happen. And it ain’t pretty.
When I (stupidly) read the comments on the internet, or watch The Handmaid’s Tale, or just mention the f-word in conversation (FYI that’s feminism), it disturbs me how many men seem to fear women.
Maybe it’s fear of losing their place at the top of the power pole, or fear of the changing roles of women (and men, for that matter) or anger in not understanding or ‘owning’ the fairer sex. I can imagine the reasons, but I’ll never understand them.
All women want is a fair chance and a level playing field.
I realise I’m not Robinson Crusoe here. It’s just that I’ve never before had personal experience of this fear. I’ve either been blind or lucky.
The women in my family were and are every bit as equal as the men, and it’s the same in my marriage.
Not only do I work, but my husband cooks dinner every night, does the laundry, cleans the bathrooms and has even managed the odd hair-do for our daughter.
All of this is unasked. He doesn’t need to be reminded or nagged because we’re a partnership. Our family is our business and we are both invested 100 per cent. If there is a job that needs doing, we do it – it doesn’t have a gender description attached.
Yet some acquaintances are
shocked he would do so-called women’s work. Of course, many of them are divorced.
I understand that men have their own issues, no one rational would deny that.
But feminism is not about being pro-women at the expense of men. Of course we should support our men – the same way they should support us.
Bottom line, to quote author Caitlin Moran, if you own a vagina and you want to be in control of it, you’re a feminist. If you know someone with a vagina and you want them to be in control of it, also a feminist. This means no one can grab it, or sell it, or use it without express permission. Surely that’s not so bad? Indeed, what is there to fear in a world where men and women – like my husband and I – are enabled to work together? Surely this is a better option than the poisonous patriarchy of The Handmaid’s Tale.
Feminism is not a dirty word. It is not to be feared.
It doesn’t matter who stuffed that idea down your throat, it’s time to purge it.