Bullying: The warning signs

A MENTAL health expert is warning parents to watch out for signs their child may be a victim of bullying and be ready to take immediate action.

Following shocking claims of bullying at a number of Gold Coast schools, Headspace Southport partnership manager Steve Hackett said parents needed to be extra vigilant.

“One of the things that is a real issue for parents is that we often mistake signs of bullying to be normal adolescent behaviour and withdrawal,” the youth expert said.

“It is important to be mindful of changes in appetite, sleeping patterns, or if school or work performance isn’t as good as it normally is.

“Risky behaviour, becoming overly stressed or worried, crying or not concentrating as well as they normally do could also be signs of a bullying issue.”

Mr Hackett said parents should encourage their children to seek out support if they have fallen victim to bullies.

Being less interested in activities they would normally enjoy.

Changes in appetite or sleeping patterns.

Being easily irritated or angry. Involving themselves in risky behaviour they would usually avoid, such as taking drugs or drinking too much alcohol.

Having difficulties with concentration or motivation.

Seeming unusually stressed or worried, or feeling down or crying for no apparent reason.

Expressing negative, distressing or out-of-character thoughts.

“Talking about these topics are a tricky thing for parents. Some have trouble restraining themselves from giving children advice, and understanding what the child is feeling,” Mr Hackett said.

“They need to be encouraged to get the support they need, and to know they are not alone.

“This isn’t just a sit down, one-off talk. It is ongoing and To focus on more specific thoughts and feelings, you could try using “I” statements such as:

“I’ve noticed that you seem to have a lot on your mind lately. I’m happy to talk or listen and see if I can help.”

“It seems like you haven’t been yourself lately/have been up and down. How are things?”

“You seem anxious/sad, what is happening for you? We can work it out together.”

“It’s OK if you don’t want to talk to me, you could talk to (trusted/known adult). I will keep letting you know I love you and am concerned.”

about building that trust.

“Support like Headspace is there. We need to realise that seeking help is something people do, everybody has tough times.”

Mr Hackett said the bullies themselves are also often in need of help.

“While it might appear to be an aggressive form of intimidation, it can be a cry for help,” Mr Hackett said.

“Part of what parents can do to help is again, not judging, letting them know they are not alone and letting them know they are safe, even if the parent doesn’t really get it.

“The sense of embarrassment, shame, disbelief or shock needs to be regulated as we ultimately want to achieve help for bullies, to process emotions with professional help.”

President and Chair of P & Cs Queensland Gayle Walters, who is a member of the Queensland Government Cyber Bullying taskforce, said parents should examine the anti-bullying policies of their child’s school.

“When considering bullying in their school, the first things parents should be looking for are the policies available on websites and in enrolment packs. For me, the biggest tell about any issue is the feel for a school when you go in. Go to the open day, talk to the teachers and other parents.

“You get a sense of if this a school community that cares about my kid.”

The Queensland AntiBullying Task Force is due to report by August 31.