PUNISHING PARENTS OF WAYWARD KIDS SERVES NO BENEFIT

THE extent to which parents should be held responsible for their children’s behaviour is a debate as old as time, but lately talk has turned to whether parents should be fined, or even imprisoned, if their children engage in criminal conduct. This is an alarming suggestion.

If children behave badly when they are small and still learning, it makes sense to ask parents to focus on teaching them better.

But when children are older – and definitely by the age of 14, according to the law – they should start to be held responsible for their own actions.

Outside the parent/child relationship we don’t hold people to account for the behaviour of others.

The adults-of-the-near-future need to know that when they break the social rules, they will personally be expected to answer for it.

Parents need to know that they will be supported in teaching this lesson.

Our youth justice system is carefully structured to provide assistance to children who are not abiding by the rules.

It operates to hold them to account for their actions but also to encourage and support them to be contributing members of society.

Children can be punished under the law, but they can also be diverted to educational programs; ordered to engage with counselling or other healthcare providers; referred to organisations that assist with housing, substance abuse, family dynamics, or cultural engagement.

The support and assistance the legal system can provide to the child is undermined when it is directed at the parents instead. This is especially true when the child has disengaged from the parents.

Above and beyond formalised support programs, a reality check from a police officer, a magistrate, a lawyer, or a youth justice worker can often help realign a child’s understanding – or their attitude –in a way that one from a parent might not.

Witnessing first-hand the impact their behaviour can have on others can also be a harsh, but effective, learning experience.

So can community service, having to pay for damage they’ve caused, or having their driver’s licence suspended or withheld.

The opportunity for children to learn the lessons taught by our legal system are removed when the consequences of behaviour fall on to the parents instead.

Kids behaving badly will always be a problem. But punishing parents – even ‘bad’ parents – is not the solution.