THE CLASS OF ‘94 AND MY SHAMEFUL SCHOOLIES TALES

I HAVE a secret and shameful Schoolies past.

Way back in November 1994, at the tender age of 18, I was lucky enough to encounter the perfect mix – being of legal age in an era of cheap drinks.

As a result, I … didn’t do much, really.

I finished high school on the Gold Coast well before the trend of overseas Schoolies celebrations began – instead, we all just stayed here. Well, a few went to the Sunshine Coast, but that’s even worse.

Some booked units in Surfers, but that’s because they were too young to drink anywhere else but “indoors” (as the Poms say). Whereas for me and my closest friends, we could actually hit the clubs.

And by God, it was boring. I can’t blame the music … after all, it was the ’90s, man. We were still in the heights – or depths – of grunge. My favourite club The Party hosted Come As You Are night on Sundays and it was not at all ironic nor nostalgic.

Yet the streets of Surfers, as I recall, were dead. We must have been the only Queensland schoolleavers over 18, and everyone else was staying away from the Schoolies. We didn’t even have any Toolies, for pity’s sake.

As for the underage graduates, there was no official program of entertainment, no organised events, not even any security on hand – not that any was necessary.

They stayed in their units and we went out solo, drank and went home.

Even that was a fail. I never really liked the taste of alcohol and at best would force a beer down over the course of a night.

It wasn’t until years later that I discovered alco-pops and a whole new world of hurt. One (un)memorable weekend, I ended up in the emergency room at Pindara Hospital, convinced I had gastro. Nope, turns out it was my first hangover. Good times.

I have to admit I’m a little sorry I don’t have any wild Schoolies stories to tell. But only a little. Mostly, I’m just glad I never have to do any of that again.

Sure, I had fun at high school (most of the time) and did well. I made some great friends whom I still treasure to this day, but geez I’m glad to be shot of it.

School leavers, congratulations.

If you have any luck and have applied yourself even a little, it really does only get better from here.

You have choices, you have options, you can grow your hair and wear it out (my daughter’s dearest wish).

Yes, it’s tough to break into the housing market these days and yes, the employment environment is undergoing its own climate change (and then there’s actual climate change, too), but there’s so much more out there that you get to experience – and it’s so much better than back in my day. Starting with Schoolies. In fact, 1994 me might even enjoy the 2018 celebrations.

Schoolies volunteer support group Red Frogs Australia national coordinator Andy Gourley says Schoolies classes of recent years have … well, class.

He says there are fewer fights, alcoholic intoxication has dropped, sexual assaults have dropped, and students are looking out for each other a lot more.

“There’s a radical difference to back in the day where there were heaps of punch-ons and nothing to do but drink,” he says.

“The last three (Schoolies) have probably been the healthiest we’ve done in 20 years. There’s been a real shift in culture where there are a lot more people not drinking as much, and a lot more people not drinking at all.”

Apparently, the desire to look good on social media is also behind this trend of good behaviour.

Which is another reason I’m glad not to go through all this again – at least when I finally had my wild nights, the only thing going viral was …

Well, let’s leave it at that. Some secrets should remain as such.