STICKING POINT
Don’t let toxic colleagues curtail your success in the workplace
DIFFICULT professional relationships can cause a lot of anxiety, with people more likely to pretend nothing is happening or quit their job than address the problem directly with colleagues.
A SEEK poll of more than 2600 Twitter users finds the most common responses to a toxic colleague are to ignore the situation (31 per cent) or leave the job (28 per cent).
Just 24 per cent say they address the colleague directly and 18 per cent report the issue to a manager or HR representative.
SEEK resident psychologist Sabina Read recommends workers at least attempt to fix the problem before leaving a workplace, otherwise they risk facing the same issues in their next role. “It could be out of the frying pan and into the fire so repeatedly leaving jobs due to toxic or difficult behaviours is not a long-term strategy,” she says. “It is not always possible (to fix an issue) but the majority of times, it is.”
Read says people must first decide whether a colleague really is toxic or whether they are just having a bad day or trying to do their job.
“People have bad days and might have something happening in their private lives, so let rip occasionally,” she says.
“If it’s isolated, we should bring some level of compassion but if it’s repeated behaviour affecting wellbeing, we need to stand up.”
People who gossip, belittle or yell at others may all be considered toxic.
Read recommends workers set boundaries for themselves. “Be able to say to someone else: ‘I am not OK with that tone’ or: ‘That is difficult for me to hear when you speak to me in that way’,” she says.
Workers can also make a stand by not taking part as behaviours are contagious. “By not being complicit yourself, you are making a statement that it is not OK,” Read says.
If this is not enough, it is then time to take the issue to a supervisor or HR representative.
Workplace expert Michelle Gibbings says the situation can be particularly complicated if the toxic person is a boss as there is a power imbalance in the relationship.
“Bosses typically have the ability to give you a pay rise, do your performance review, make your life more pleasant or more uncomfortable depending how the relationship goes,” the Bad Boss: What to do if you work
for one author says.
In this situation, she says the first step is for workers to consider the context and environment they are in and the nature of the person they are dealing with, then look at their own contribution to the dynamic.
“Often in a difficult relationship we think it’s all about the other person (but usually) both parties are bringing something to the dynamic that’s not working,” she says.
Gibbings says workers can mend a toxic relationship with their boss by being more understanding or identifying people who have a better relationship with them and finding out how they make it work.
But not all relationships can be saved. “Always make sure you are taking care of your own mental health and wellbeing,” she says.