Prep hero is mother of all kindness

After years of being rock-star teachers to lots of little preppies, fate and the miracle of IVF smile on classroom gems Carla Stanley and hubby Dale at last, amid the uncertainty of a world in the grip of a pandemic

BE kind, be brave. When my son was little, that was his classroom motto. And none taught that lesson better than his own teacher.

Carla Stanley, or Mrs Stanley as we all know her, is just one of those teachers. She is the one the parents talk about in the car park, pleased their child is in her class or that maybe she will change year levels so you can get her again.

Her passion for teaching is the stuff of legend, except it is the real deal. She even has a social media account dedicated to teaching.

Married to fellow prep teacher Dale, the pair make cameo appearances in each other’s classrooms to literally share the love.

But it turns out that all this time she has been teaching kindness, she has also been practising a very personal bravery.

After six years and nine IVF transfers, Carla Stanley is finally celebrating her first pregnancy … in the midst of a pandemic. What are the chances?

But exactly because it has been six years and nine IVF transfers, Carla is not focusing on coronavirus concerns, but instead is busy counting her blessings … and they equal 10 little fingers and 10 little toes.

Of course, as a prep teacher at Emmanuel College, she has 25 other little blessings to distract her as well.

And while there has been plenty of speculation about the health hazards that students might pose to teachers, Carla says the benefits of being back in school far outweigh any potential risk. Perhaps she is being brave again, but she says she is seeing first-hand how this crisis is changing things for the better in the classroom and delivery room alike.

“I’m getting the full pandemic experience being pregnant and a prep teacher,” laughs the 37-year-old.

“I’m due at the start of August and at this stage delivery day will probably be the first time I step inside the hospital. Everything else has been changed to phone appointments and my midwife even does home visits.

“With the changes at school with online learning and the changes to medical appointments, it’s been a crazy time but I’ve actually loved it.

“I think a lot of us have really found the positives in this time. We’ve found new skills, we’ve found more time and I know I’ve found myself doing more exercise.’’

The experience of pregnant women during the pandemic is the focus of an Australian research centre, which is leading a new global study into how maternity services, pregnant women and new mothers have been affected by the outbreak of coronavirus.

The Stillbirth Centre of Research Excellence is surveying 10,000 new mums, pregnant women and their partners to explore the use of telehealth appointments, the psychological impacts of social isolation, and the support offered to families.

Indeed, Carla says the end of term one was a tense time not just for her but also other teachers and students.

She says her school managed to ace the testing times, ensuring she felt supported and safe whether online or in class.

“They know how long I’ve been trying for this baby. Nobody wanted to see me exposed to any risk,” she says.

“Of course I didn’t either, but my midwife and doctor both assured me it was safe to continue working as long as we practised simple measures like keeping the doors and windows open and restricting my exposure to any groups other than my own preppies.

“It was probably only as term one was ending, that last week when students were sent home and we had an in-service week, that I started to feel a little nervous. It was just eerie with all the news reports and hardly any students there.

“We didn’t know how things were going to look, we were watching the death toll climb in all these other countries so it was quite an anxious time. On the Tuesday afternoon of that week, I realised I really could do my work from home and I owed it to my baby to keep myself safe so I stayed away for those final three days. But those were the only days I didn’t come into the classroom. The preppies are so little and so cute, how can I stay away?” Kind and brave as usual. In fact, Carla says it’s dealing with those shiny, happy, if sometimes grubby, little faces every day that has helped her keep a positive outlook throughout her sixyear fertility struggle.

That and husband Dale, who teaches at Pacific Pines State School.

“We definitely were not positive all the time. There were times at home where we felt really down, but you can’t be surrounded by preps and feel sad, they don’t let you,” she says. “Besides, for Dale and I, we were just of the belief that no way we would love kids so much and want this so badly if it was not going to happen.

“It was probably harder when we started doing IVF. I was under the misconception that it would work straight away. When it didn’t, I had a few wobbles. But we kept our faith and we knew from a medical perspective that there was no reason this wouldn’t work. We just had to believe and to keep trying.

“Our home is a happy place but I think for both of us the classroom is the happiest place on Earth. We just love our jobs and love our kids.

“I would come in after treatments, or the day after we received the news that it was yet another negative, and it would all feel better with those little people everywhere that love you. Preps are a great audience too. They always think you’re hilarious and really smart. At school, teachers have rock-star status.

“For Dale, he’s the main male role model for some of his students. He may not be a dad yet, but he’s been receiving Father’s Day gifts for years.”

While she is stoked to have her students back in class, Carla says the experience of online teaching has changed her. She says the skills she learnt as well as a new understanding of the children’s resilience and intelligence have already altered her classroom schedule.

“Being preps, I thought we would see some regression in behaviours – you know, being scared to get out of the car, upset at leaving mum or dad – but I was so pleasantly surprised. They were so excited to see their friends,” she says.

“They are all so resilient and independent and the amount they have learnt from online schooling is amazing. I think it will really inform how we teach going forward.

“Because they’re so little, we didn’t do any live online teaching. Instead we recorded videos for each day, and they couldn’t be more than five minutes max because … preps. If it’s too long, you lose them.

“It really made me rethink my teaching style. In the classroom I can talk and talk and talk but I’m realising they don’t need all of that. They just need the main message and then they can go off and do their thing.

“They are incredibly capable as well. Instead of talking about full stops for half an hour, we got them to edit one sentence every day and already with them back in class, I can’t believe how well they are using their full stops and capital letters. It’s such a simple and effective teaching method.”

Although this may be her last term teaching in the classroom before the arrival of baby Stanley, she vows she will be back. Fittingly, she learnt she was finally pregnant in her own classroom last year.

“It was the week after the students finished and I got a call from the clinic. Normally I just let it go to voicemail so that I can listen in my own time and have whatever reaction I need to have, but I forgot and answered.

“I just couldn’t believe we finally got a positive result. I never miscarried, it was just always negative. I was so excited but I couldn’t tell anyone, I just did a little dance in the classroom courtyard.

“When Dale got home that night I made a letter board sign – a very teacher thing to do – that said: ‘We’ve practised on other people’s kids long enough.’

“But even though I can’t wait to be a mum to my own baby, I still want to keep ‘practising’ as a teacher to my other 25 children.”

That’s our Mrs Stanley. Always kind, always brave.

‘Preps always think you’re hilarious and really smart’