LOCKED IN FOR SOME INESCAPABLE CHANGES
WE’VE all changed a lot in the strange new world of the past few months, some of it for the better.
More time with family, healthier home cooking, free time to spend doing the things we have always put off. Some overachievers have even written those long-planned novels.
But arguably not for the better is just how big and shaggy we’ve all become, thanks to packing on the required rona-stone and our ever longer corona-hair.
In the early weeks of lockdown, it was almost fun to watch TV news anchors with their homegrown makeup and try to spot who was getting visits from sneaky blackmarket colourists and hairdressers.
Later, as their access to regular Botox and plastic surgeons continued to be cut off, there were some slipping faces and a lot more scarfs on TV. Good times!
In our family, we’ve learned a few things about ourselves, and it’s not only how all those extra hours at home just give you more time to procrastinate about your paperwork.
We have been stunned to learn just how much comfort eating you can pack into a single day, thanks to the baking bender I’ve been on for the past four months.
It also turns out I’m brunette, after half a lifetime of thinking I’m still blonde.
Although hairdressers are open again here, it’s a struggle to imagine spending the several hours it would take to restore my highlights, so that won’t change for a while.
My husband is sporting Miami Vice-style flicks that would make Don Johnson jealous, while both our decidedly not metrosexual teenage boys have started ordering conditioner from Amazon.
I fear we are just weeks from manbuns, at which point we might need to stage an intervention.
Even the world’s most famous fake tanner seems to have been forced to come to terms with a change to his preferred maintenance regime.
In a press conference this week, Donald Trump (pictured) was remarkably fair complexioned and his usually tangerine tinted locks appeared a more sedate silver.
Perhaps it was due to advice he needs to shake things up and maybe tone down the showman in order to fix his cratering polling. Or maybe he really is busy running the world’s most powerful nation.
It will be interesting to see if the changes stick. Quickly afterwards he sacked his campaign manager, so maybe we can expect a brisk return to his usual vibrant hue.