BASHINGS WON’T STOP UNTIL THE EXCUSES END
IN a tsunami of death and assaults, the fight against domestic violence has made huge advancements. Awareness is far greater for one. Abuse no longer remains hidden in the four walls of a home, at a time when neighbours would turn up the TV to drown out the chaos just metres from them.
People no longer turn a blind eye or change the conversation when they see a woman with a black eye. Police will soon record every complaint, where possible, on body-worn cameras. We are talking openly about domestic violence now.
Despite those strides, society will never truly be able to wrestle the demons of abuse until it can stand in front of a mirror and steadfastly look past a major failing every one person has control over – tolerance.
The community was so outraged by the death of Kelly Wilkinson in April that it united to build a house for her children.
However, the reality is society’s acceptance and tolerance to these deaths – our tolerance to these deaths – has not changed for decades.
Community leaders, police and health experts say our acceptance of domestic violence is similar to the mass shootings in the US where tens of thousands of people die every year from gunshot wounds.
Queensland is living that nightmare with domestic violence. Our mothers and sisters are being bashed and/or killed every day, but what do we do? We’ll hold a vigil and scream enough is enough on social media or in the newspapers and then get on with our lives – until the next mother or sister dies.
We need to stop making excuses. That is our choice.
The “she made me do it”, “he’s normally a good guy” and “it was the drugs or grog” justifications should be white noise.
We need to learn to walk away when a situation is hot, cool the jets and address the problem later as real men. That, also, is our choice. Domestic violence campaigners say greater resources should also be put into schools, so children can be taught what is happening at home is actually wrong and be a generation of circuit breakers.
As one community leader told the Bulletin in the days after Kelly Wilkinson’s death: “It’s easy to write ‘enough is enough’ on your Facebook page. We generate police money for outlaw motorcycle gangs – surely we can do the same for women and children?”
We have come a long way in better protecting the people we are supposed to love, yet, in the same breath, are constantly dizzy from the spinning cycle of refusing to accept zero tolerance.
It’s up to you.