How far would you go to save a stranger’s life?
When Victoria Parker heard Aunty Robyn Williams was suffering kidney failure, she made a split-second decision to offer one of her own, a moment that changed both of their lives
Ashort car journey in Logan, south of Brisbane, was the unlikely setting for Victoria Parker’s “moment of pure clarity”. It was akin to one of those sunbeam-breakingthrough-the-cloud moments in Hollywood movies where all her previous decisions, mistakes and actions made complete sense. Everything she had ever experienced had led her to this point. To this car journey. To this conversation. And to a “no-brainer” decision to offer a part of her body to another human being.
Parker, 46, of Brisbane’s inner suburb of Auchenflower, made a snap decision that day to donate one of her kidneys to the woman she was driving in her car, Aunty Robyn Williams.
Williams, 63, an Indigenous Yugambeh elder and community worker of Mount Warren Park, in Logan, had been on the transplant organ waiting list for about a year, suffering kidney failure as a symptom of diabetes. She underwent regular dialysis to stay alive.
The pair met through Parker’s work at the time for Logan Together, a community organisation that creates opportunities for kids in the area. On National Sorry Day in 2020, Williams was asked to conduct a Welcome to Country ceremony and Parker picked her up from her Mount Warren Park house to take her there. It was a 15-minute car journey that changed both their lives.
Parker knew only that Williams was unwell and so inquired after her health. When she learned the seriousness of Williams’ health condition and her failing kidneys she offered up her own kidney as a transplant organ.
Parker, now the chief executive officer of the not-for-profit Lady Musgrave Trust, supporting women and their children experiencing homelessness, never wavered from her decision that day to become a living kidney donor for Williams. After undergoing extensive physical and psychological testing for about a year, the four-hour operation to remove her kidney and transplant it into Williams was successfully performed in March last year at Brisbane’s Princess Alexandra Hospital.
“I knew nothing about kidneys or dialysis so I was probing, asking questions of Aunty Robyn that day in the car,” Parker says.
“It sounded awful and I asked what would help her … the only option was a new kidney. In that moment, I said, ‘Well, what about mine?’
“I will never forget the feeling I had. I just knew it was the right decision. Everything in my life up to that point just made sense. It was like in a movie when a sunbeam came down onto my face and I just got it. That moment was very strange but I knew our paths had crossed at that moment for a reason.
“I just felt so clear about it. I had no doubts at any stage and I didn’t think twice about it.
“I was more hesitant about doing this interview than I was at any stage about donating my kidney. It just felt right.”
Williams considers herself a private person.
Before her kidney transplant, she didn’t make a big deal about her health worries. She did her dialysis and got on with life, working as a community support worker at the Beenleigh Housing and Development Corporation where she did administration work and helped Indigenous kids learn the Yugambeh language.
She wasn’t one to moan about feeling tired or lacking energy. There was no “poor pity me”.
When Parker first offered her kidney, Williams thought it was a “lovely offer” but didn’t really think any further about it.
“I just let it go to the back of my mind,” Williams says.
“None of my family could donate to me. I only have two brothers left and they have their own health issues. My sister-in-law has diabetes as well and my nieces and nephews are too young.
“I did really need a kidney but I seriously didn’t think Victoria’s offer would come to anything. I didn’t know her that well, she was an acquaintance through work. I am a traditional owner of the area and I meet so many people.
“But a few days later, Victoria rang me and offered her kidney again. She said the community would be at a loss if I wasn’t there.”
Parker began a battery of tests to assess her suitability for donation. She underwent blood and urine tests to check for heart health, liver and kidney function, infections, diabetes and general health. She had a chest x-ray and lung function tests, heart function tests, kidney ultrasound and other scans to assess kidney anatomy and function. She had a cervical screening test, skin checks and a mammogram to test for various cancers, as well as tests for tissue typing.
One of her kidneys was found to be smaller than the other, which is not uncommon, and this smaller kidney was chosen for transplant (the donor is always left with the “best” kidney).
Parker’s son Sasha, 15, was also tested to make sure his kidneys were in good working order.
Psychological testing included numerous “what ifs”: What if your son needs a kidney transplant in the future?; What if the operation fails?; What if your kidney is removed and Williams dies before surgeons can give it to her?
She had to think about why she wanted to do this. Was it some sort of “white guilt” that was impacting her decision to donate to an Indigenous Australian?
Others asked her to think about a scenario where Williams didn’t want to speak to her after the operation. Or, “If you are going to give your kidney away, why not give it to a child?”
But Parker was resolute.
“Aunty Robyn was the right person,” she says.
“To me, everyone is a child of someone. My son Sasha has got people all around him who would give him a kidney without thinking. And I have people who would give their kidney to me. It was an example of the land of opportunity that I’m in, compared to others.
“The way that it happened, Aunty Robyn was the person for my kidney. She had so much more to give to the community.”
Parker’s donation also gave her some satisfaction after trying, unsuccessfully, to have more children after her son was conceived through IVF.
“I tried really hard to have more children but it just didn’t work for my body and there was no explanation for it,” she says.
“So this also made sense for me … it was how my body could give life in another way.”
Kidney transplants are the most common type
of solid organ transplant, followed by liver, lung and heart.
Nationally, there are about 12,000 people on dialysis, including about 2000 in Queensland, who could benefit from a kidney transplant. In 2021, there were 202 living kidney donors out of 657 total kidney transplants.
In Australia last year, there were 1850 people on the waiting list for all transplants, with the average waiting time for a kidney being 3½ years. Living kidney transplantation not only reduces the time a recipient will have to wait but often it also has better success rates. Typically a kidney from a deceased donor will last 14 to 15 years (though some patients in Queensland have transplants that have worked for more than 40 years). Living donor kidneys are expected to last about 18 to 19 years.
Brisbane’s Princess Alexandra Hospital is currently the largest unit in Australia for number of transplants, performing between 160 and 200 each year, with about 30 of those coming from living donors. Diabetes is now the most common cause of kidney failure seen in new patients presenting to the PA.
PA kidney specialist Associate Professor Scott Campbell says living donors are “a special minority”.
“The most common relationships we see as donors are between spouses and partners, and parents to children,” he says.
“In the case of Robyn and Victoria, it was a case of two people who were friends where Robyn gained a very substantial health benefit from an extremely generous gift.
“Robyn is now free of dialysis, she has excellent kidney function and her quality of life
Victoria and I are … sisters now. The stars just aligned. She’s just a wonderful, amazing person
I just knew it was the right decision. Everything in my life up to that point just made sense … That moment was very strange but I knew our paths had crossed … for a reason
is substantially better for that – as well as her life expectancy.”
A living donor operation is unique in that it is the only one performed in the hospital that doesn’t leave the person in better shape than they were before.
Donors face a small risk of complications that can include bleeding, infection and blood clots. The risk of death for the donor is estimated to be about one in 3000.
Campbell says without Parker’s donated kidney, Williams, who had already been on dialysis for a year, was likely to have waited at least another two years for a suitable kidney.
But patients also have to remain well enough to receive a donated organ. Williams’ underlying kidney disease was from diabetes, which can also lead to cardiovascular disease, stroke and damage to blood vessels.
“Dialysis is a wonderful treatment in that it keeps people with kidney failure alive … but it is extremely time consuming and inconvenient,” Campbell says.
“Even good dialysis only replaces about
10 per cent of your kidney function – enough to keep you feeling okay and keep you alive but it isn’t really a full substitute for all the work a healthy kidney does.
“After a transplant, people just feel like they have more energy, they feel more alive and well, they save huge amounts of time from not doing dialysis. They often get a better appetite and report that food starts to taste better again.
“They are able to get back to doing most of the things they used to be able to do before.
“A kidney transplant makes a major difference to people in their health, wellbeing and it improves their survival.”
Williams is now back working full time and
embracing life “with a spring in my step”, amazed at how much livelier she feels.
As a “Wests Tigers tragic”, she attended their NRL match at the Gold Coast in March. It was the first game she had been able to attend in more than two years.
In November, she is going on a cruise up the coast to Cairns and back.
“When I was sick, I didn’t realise I was that sick,” Williams says.
“Now I can feel how much of a difference it has made, even looking back at photos of myself.
“I’m back at work full time and feeling great. I can do more things, I’m not so tired anymore. I’m not dragging my feet and people can hear it in my voice how much I’ve changed.
“The next day after the operation I felt really good. It is amazing how a new kidney could do that. It is amazing, it really is.
“Victoria and I are definitely sisters now. The stars just aligned. She’s just a wonderful, amazing person.
“I was so supported by Victoria but also from the Logan Hospital Renal Clinic and the PA Transplant Unit and also my workplace.
“It was a very special gift and I will never ever forget that. It’s something that I’ll treasure.
“It’s made a huge difference to my life. I can travel again. I am so happy, I really am.”
Parker has always been community minded, riding her bike across Cambodia for War Child Australia in 2011, working in orphanages and publishing a cookbook with two girlfriends when Sasha was a baby that raised $120,000 for premature babies at the RBWH.
Parker took four weeks off work to recover after her operation and, she admits, her recovery was a lot more painful than she anticipated.
But she has absolutely no regrets and regards the experience as a “privilege”.
She credits the process with bringing her family closer together with the “incredible support” of her husband Rohan, 50. She has also found an “easy, wonderful and special” relationship with Williams, whom she regards as family.
“It wasn’t an easy process but I’ve got so much out of it,” Parker says.
“It feels good to help and I’ve always volunteered. I know how easy it is to be unfortunate. I know how lucky I am. I really wanted to make sure Aunty Robyn knew there wasn’t any transaction around this; that she didn’t owe me anything.
“Giving and kindness is actually more selfish than selfless because the feedback loop is always greater than what you give. It centres you and grounds you and it’s the point of life. It just makes me feel alive.”
Assoc Prof Campbell says there are never quite
enough kidneys to go around. He encourages people to talk about organ donation and to register their interest in being a donor on the Australian Organ Donor Register: “It’s important for people to register their interest in being a donor but, also, if you are close to someone with kidney failure and you think you might be suitable and keen to donate a kidney to them, then mention it to them,” he says.
“Some people with kidney failure find it hard to raise this as an issue even with people quite close to them.
“The more people understand it, the easier it may be to have these conversations.”
In assessing compatibility for kidney transplants, doctors look at tissue typing, blood type and antibodies that may be present against other tissue types.
Over the past decade, with advancement in modern drugs, blood group incompatible transplants are now possible, allowing more transplants to occur. About 70 to 80 blood group incompatible transplants have been performed at the PA.
“Anyone who donates a kidney is very special. It’s also a special gift from people who have died and have agreed, or through their family agreed, to donate.
“All these people bring enormous health benefits and freedoms to patients who are otherwise leading an extremely restricted life on dialysis.
“This case of Victoria and Robyn shows the tremendous benefits that Robyn has been able to receive as the result of a generous gift. It is a very special thing to agree to undertake.”
Giving and kindness is actually more selfish than selfless because the feedback loop is always greater than what you give