ALY RAISMAN

The US gymnast is a tower of support for abused athletes.

alking into a Michigan courtroom on Jan. 19, Aly Raisman was on a mission. The Olympic gold medallist was one of hundreds of young women abused by former USA Gymnastics doctor Larry Nassar who were appearing in court to give victim-impact statements before Nassar was sentenced. “I felt very strong,” says Raisman. “I felt like I had so much I wanted to say.” In a 12-minute statement that had many in the courtroom in tears, Raisman excoriated Nassar and took aim at the gymnastics organisations that she says “enabled” the former doctor to abuse hundreds of young girls and women under the guise of medical treatment. “The tables have turned,” she told the court. “We are here, we have

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our voices, and we aren’t going anywhere.”

The moment didn’t come easily for Raisman. As she was leaving the courtroom that day, she says, “I felt like I was going to throw up. It was almost like I felt my body collapse.”

But even as she continues working through her own pain, she’s determined to force some good to come from the scandal and wants to make sure that the next generation of gymnasts don’t have to go through what she did. “Being in that courtroom was life-changing,” she says. “To be around such strong young girls and to see that I’m not alone. We are an army of survivors.”

In recent months the 23-year-old has become the face of that army, going public with demands for answers about why multiple organisations, including USAG and the United States Olympic Committee, allowed the abuse to continue for decades. (Both organisations say they have launched an investigation into what happened.) Raisman has also been

‘You lose part of yourself when you’re abused. I lost a part of myself, and I’m getting it back by speaking out’ — Aly Raisman

privately counselling some of her fellow victims. “Those are difficult phone calls,” she says. “I’ve been on the phone with some of the girls for hours, trying to calm them down and help them understand how this could have happened, even though I can’t understand it myself. I tell them, ‘I know it’s hard to imagine right now, but you’re going to be OK. We’re going to make change together.’ ”

During his years as the team doctor for USA Gymnastics, Nassar sexually abused his young female patients with inappropriate touching and even vaginal penetration (often without gloves) disguised as a medical treatment. “I always thought he was an off person,” says Raisman, who had her first session with Nassar in 2009, when she was 15 and travelling abroad. “But I didn’t know what sexual abuse really was. I didn’t know that when he was giving me food or presents, he was grooming me.” Over the years Raisman says she and her teammates would often talk about his “weird” treatments and how uncomfortable they made them feel.

It was during one of these conversations in late spring 2015 when a female coach overheard Raisman and USA Gymnastics teammate Maggie Nichols talking about Nassar’s behaviour. Alarmed, the coach reported it to USAG authorities who after looking into the claims notified the FBI and then quietly dismissed Nassar. But the organisation did not alert the US Olympic Committee or Michigan State University, where Nassar had his practice. No public mention of the accusations was made, and it would take nearly a year before the FBI finally interviewed Raisman and Nichols in the summer of 2016. During that time Raisman says she and her family heard nothing from USAG officials. “I want to be clear that when I realised I was abused, I reached out to an official at USAG and let them know it happened to me,” says Raisman. “I continued to check back with them, and they said they were handling it. I was wrong to trust them.”

In the fall of 2016 The Indianapolis Star published an explosive story detailing allegations from two unnamed female gymnasts that Nassar had repeatedly molested them. On Dec. 16 of that year Nassar was arrested and charged with possession of child pornography. In July 2017 he pleaded guilty to those charges and he would later face multiple charges of sexual abuse involving more than 265 young women. (See box.)

Raisman admits that coming to terms with what happened to her has been difficult. “You never really want to say, ‘I was sexually abused,’ ” she admits, “but you have to process it. You can’t push it aside forever, which is what I did for a long

time. I’m still processing it and coping with it.”

She’s focusing on taking care of herself, seeing a therapist and doing things that help make her feel calm and content. “I have a hard time sometimes before I go to sleep at night,” says Raisman, who lives with her parents near Boston. “I like to take hot baths, I read books, I love acupuncture. I don’t know if you ever fully come to terms with what happened to you because it’s just so complicated and uncomfortable to think about.” She’s also found strength and solace in the support she’s received from family, friends and teammates—many of whom, like Simone Biles, Gabby Douglas, Mckayla Maroney and Jordyn Wieber, have come forward to accuse Nassar as well. “We’ve been through some of our best moments of our life together and some of our worst moments of our lives together,” she says. “I think it makes us really, really close.”

Raisman’s relationship with USAG and the Olympic Committee is more troubled. “They put reputation, medals and money above everything,” she says. “They just didn’t care because we were winning, and that’s just disgusting. I can’t understand how anyone can sleep at night.” And while Raisman is looking ahead to the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo, she says she’s not sure if she will compete. “I’ve been to two Olympic Games, and I love gymnastics so much,” she says, choosing her words carefully. “But with everything going on right now, I realise that this is more important than any gold medal. My main focus is fixing this organisation and getting to the bottom of what happened.”

Raisman is also committed to spreading a message of empowerment to children who may be victims of sexual abuse. “I do a lot of school visits,” she says. “I’m trying to communicate to these kids that they have a

“My mom has been so supportive. She’s a big part of the reason why I’ve been able to be so strong” — Aly Raisman