‘MKR’ HEALING Alicia Chau shares her story of depression to help others.
Alicia used to hide her depression—now, with sister Georgie’s support, she is sharing her story to help others
Three days after Georgie Chau applied for a coveted spot on My Kitchen Rules last year, she threw the news over her shoulder to Alicia, her sister and prospective teammate. “She said it as a passing line, ‘Oh by the way, I’ve entered us into My Kitchen Rules,’ ” says Alicia. While Georgie was “a superfan” of the show, Alicia had never watched a full episode, but when they got news of their successful bid Alicia realised the heat was on. “I was thinking, ‘Oh shit, what do I do now?’ ” she recalls. “I was very aware of the fact that it would be the Australian public judging me and judging our food and judging our behaviour.”
She was also aware of something else when learning of their good fortune—“i wasn’t ecstatic ... I should have had a much greater reaction,” says Alicia, 30, revealing to WHO that an inability “to experience any real excitement is an odd side effect” of the medication that’s helped her finally cope
with the depression she kept secret for up to seven years. She admits ,“i’ve been very good at putting a mask on.”
Now that mask is falling away, with design project coordinator Georgie, 24, and the MKR journey proving key to Alicia’s ongoing recovery. The sisters, who scored a perfect 10 from judges Manu Feildel and Pete Evans for their prawn and shiitake ravioli with seafood broth entree at their instant restaurant on the Feb. 19 episode, have strengthened their bond through cooking and living together for the show. “I have been very open about my mental health with Georgie, because I felt that she was entitled to know if I was going to go through this experience with her,” says Alicia, a former accountant. “Anytime that I have been feeling particularly low or concerned about my behaviour, I’d discuss it with her.”
It wasn’t always that way. With six years between them, “We didn’t actually get to know each other until she had finished school,” says Alicia, who also has another sister and two older half-siblings. “[ MKR] definitely created a new bond between us.” Though part of a big family, growing up was an “every man for themselves sort of situation,” says Alicia, who, like Georgie, spent long hours working in their parents’ restaurant in Coffs Harbour, NSW. Their dad, Albert—the sisters named their instant restaurant after his Chinese name, Kwok Tong —and mum, Mona, emigrated from China in the 1970s and established the King Palace restaurant in the beachside city. “We’ve been in the kitchen since we were 8 years old,” says Alicia. “I guess that it consumed so much of my life I wasn’t really able to have a social life or really develop those sorts of deep friendships that everyone else around me seemed to be having.”
Finding common ground with her parents was also a challenge. “I didn’t really know how to talk to Dad,” Alicia says. “The most that we talked about was cars and money— instructional things rather than having a conversation. We didn’t come from a talk about your feelings kind of family.”
Coupled with the pressure to excel that Alicia says is “ingrained” in the Chinese culture, she began to struggle: “If we didn’t get top marks or something like that, they would be very disappointed. The very small amount of attention that we did get from our parents, we wanted it to be positive. So we constantly pushed to be the best.” Yet from the vantage point of adulthood, she understands them better. “I think they were doing whatever they could do for all of us to survive, really,” she reflects.
Though she saw a school counsellor from time to time, Alicia, who also began suffering migraines at age 13, says, “My way of coping was trying to adapt and trying to fit in.” It’s an attitude she carried into her ill-fated marriage to the boy she’d been with since she was 17. “When you’ve been together for a while, and you’re not ready to break up, the next logical step is marriage,” says Alicia, who was 24 when she wed. “We were doing what we felt was part of the script.” In an attempt to test whether their relationship could stand up on its own and “outside of my family’s influence,” Alicia and her husband moved to Perth but their union began to crumble six months later, a fact she hid from her family for close to a year. It was the breakdown of her marriage, and stress from her finance job, that proved the catalyst for Alicia to be diagnosed with depression. “I felt completely alone,” she says. “When I finally mentioned it to my GP, I just completely broke down and cried.”
Today, with a mental-health action plan in place, and medication, Alicia is enjoying being back in the world and is closer than ever to her parents. “We’re getting used to talking to each other as people, and not parents and children,” she says. Her sister and MKR teammate couldn’t be prouder of her courage in speaking out. “Depression is such a lonely battle,” says Georgie. “She’s really just trying to get the word out there that it’s not taboo anymore.” Sums up Alicia, “If something good is going to come out of it, at least I can help someone else.”
“I just completely broke down and cried ” —Alicia Chau
Lifeline: 13 11 14; lifeline.org.au My Kitchen Rules airs Mon.-thurs., 7.30 PM, on Seven.