ZANN MICHAELS >Brisbane public servant, 35
My coming out didn’t happen all in one go. I grew up in a small country town in a very strict Mormon family. At church, homosexuality was discussed but not in a positive way. I went to uni and this girl and I made a play. It sort of forced me to confront the reality that I’m a lesbian. It was the first true thing I’d felt in my life. I was 19. I’d been taking steps back from the church for a while but then, it felt like it wasn’t a place for me anymore. Once one or two people knew about me, it spread like wildfire. I actually didn’t tell many people because I was so nervous. I figured when I told my parents, I wouldn’t have a relationship with them anymore so I just decided I wouldn’t bring it up. I was living in London when I was 23 and my mum emailed me one day—my sister had told her. It was really tough. And our relationship has always been strained since. My wife Shannon and I have been together 10 years now and we have two daughters. Starting a family bridged a bit of a gap. I think them witnessing our happy and loving family allowed us all to exist relatively harmoniously. But the marriage vote last year put a lot of pressure on that. I didn’t ask how they were voting and if it was No, I just preferred not to know. But there were posts on Facebook that were very hurtful and damaging, and very hard to reconcile with. I thought we were past it. But all I can do is live my truth. I think I’ve brought much more positivity into this world by being my genuine self that I otherwise would have.