MOTHER’S DAY SPECIAL
36Actress Penny Mcnamee heads up our celeb mums sharing thoughts and theories about bringing up children in a world of opportunity, uncertainty and social media.
For parenting tips, Home and Away star Penny Mcnamee looks to her mother, who raised five children while running a business from home: “Mum really is an amazing role model for being able to juggle and balance it all,” says Penny, mum of cuteas-can-be Jack, her son with husband Matt Tooker, 35, director of a marketing agency. Mother and daughter sat down with WHO’S Karina Machado on a blue-sky Sydney autumn day to talk about life balance, their bond and big families.
What are your plans for Mother’s Day? Helen Usually, the family comes down to our home for lunch and we play some tennis. Penny It’s very competitive! [ Laughs] We have our own family-cup trophy and that gets engraved with the winner’s name every year. And mum demands two presents because her birthday tends to fall on Mother’s Day, so May is very much spoiling-our-mother month. It sounds like there’s a lot to spoil her for ... Penny I honestly ask her on a daily basis how she managed. Helen I had good babysitters, and our older girls at the time were 15 and 12, so they really helped with the little ones. All the children had their chores, so it was a bit of a team effort. Penny We did, we had lists of jobs, which we resented but now we’re all motivated to get things done and I think it’s because of those job lists. What’s your relationship like today? Penny We’re just really good friends. We’re very similar. I feel like there’s some spiritual connection between Mum and I, often it’s that thing where just as I go to ring Mum, she rings me. Helen Or we might see an article in the paper, some little thing we’ll send each other. Usually one of us says, “Oh yes, I read that and thought of you.” How did your relationship change when Jack was born? Penny I just started asking Mum different questions, like how do I get my child to sleep at night! [ Helen laughs] I think I started seeing Mum in a new light, because working and raising a small child is such a juggle. I do ring her for advice and ideas, and Mum’s good. Even though she reminds me that it’s fun, she also validates that it is hard, that it can be lonely sometimes and can be exhausting. She validates how I feel with
that, as well, which I appreciate.
How are you finding that juggle today?
Penny Look, I love my time at home with Jack and I love my time at work filming. I feel like both parts of me are being very fulfilled, but with that comes the downside of constant exhaustion. Those nights when Jack does wake up for hours and I have to be on set at 5 AM, the exhaustion can get a bit much at times, but I wouldn’t change any of it, because I do feel very fulfilled as a mother and also as an actor.
Helen, your other daughter, Jessica, is also an actress. Is there showbiz in your blood?
Helen A little bit—my sister is a singer. We’ve always had singing in the family; all the children sing. I remember a friend of Penny’s came over one day and she said, “Your family’s quite odd, they all sing around the house.” Penny There’s always a piano in our house. Helen All the children got involved in amateur theatre.
Penny Mum was the president of Sydney Youth Musical Theatre for many years. I feel like one of the greatest things Mum has always done in life, and taught us to do, is volunteer work. She’s got a servant’s heart, Mum, and she teaches us all.
What’s a memory of her you treasure?
Mum used to do this really special treat. Once a term, she would let each of the five children have a day off school and bludge, and Mum would take me to Carlingford Court [shops], she’d have a cappuccino and we’d have lunch. Each term we’d get a Mum day. Being part of such a big family, it was just fantastic, having Mum to yourself ... I will try to do that with my children, I think.
Coming from such a big family, are you thinking of expanding your own?
I’d love to. I’m busy with Home and Away— I’m in my third year of my contract—so I’ll probably think soon about having more kids. I’ve enjoyed having Jack by himself up to age 3, that’s been a nice age—he’s not a baby anymore, he’s more independent and I think there’s something to be said for having bigger gaps between your kids.
“The exhaustion can get a bit much at times, but I wouldn’t change any of it”