‘NO-ONE CAN TAKE THE PAIN AWAY’ Author Hannah Richell on the devastating loss of her husband, Matt
After a great loss—and a return home to the Uk—author Hannah Richell finds the strength to go on
OOn a sunny winter afternoon, keen surfer Matt Richell took to the water at Sydney’s Bronte Beach to catch a few lunchtime waves with a friend. Then things took a turn: he came into trouble when he was swept up against a notoriously treacherous rocky area called the Twins. Having suffered a head injury, and despite frantic efforts from lifeguards, members of the public and paramedics, the 41-year-old father of two and CEO of publishing house Hachette Australia lost his life. “He was wonderful,” says his wife, writer Hannah. “A very loving, caring husband and father.”
At the time, Hannah was mid-way through novel No. 3, The Peacock Summer, and the couple, who had moved to Australia from the UK in 2005, were enjoying life in the leafy suburb of Balmain, bringing up their Australian-born children. Overwhelmed by grief, Hannah, 43, put her latest work on the backburner. “I found it hard to care about the book,” she concedes. “It felt so unimportant based on the reality of life and our loss.” After making the huge decision to move back to her English roots, “I was aware that I also had to get my career back on track,” she says. “I was a single parent and had to raise my children on my own.”
Four years on, The Peacock Summer is on the shelves. It’s an accomplishment that after losing Matt she wasn’t sure she would ever achieve. “I wouldn’t say time heals,” she says. “But it enables you to learn new ways to live your life and carry the pain of loss.”
You were half way through The Peacock Summer when everything changed.
Normally, in the mornings it was all go in our house! But that day Matt and I had a lovely, rare moment together where he suggested we grab 15 minutes and snatch a coffee. Later, [ he] was meeting up with one of the lawyers his company works with. They had business to discuss but were also good friends and decided to have a “board” meeting—talk business and have a quick surf at lunchtime. When I got home in the afternoon, there were two policewomen waiting for me. As soon as I saw them, I knew something terrible had happened.
How did you cope?
I had wonderful friends and my family were fantastic. It was those connections that got us through, but it was a lonely time. No-one can take the pain away.
You once said that as a writer it’s important to feel what the characters are feeling. After losing Matt, you said you weren’t feeling anything. Is that why you decided to put the book on hold?
I kept trying to go back but there was so much going on in my real life I couldn’t immerse myself and sustain the concentration. A weird numbness took hold, I couldn’t feel anything anymore. The manuscript felt like it was by a different writer from a different life.
Did that prompt your return to the UK?
Moving back was a difficult decision because Sydney was home and the kids were born in Australia. Advice I was given from a counsellor in the early days for the kids was to try to keep everything as stable and consistent as possible, as their world had changed hugely. I think that’s why we stayed in Sydney for two years. I needed that stability for myself as well, but I was finding it increasingly hard to step forwards into a new life without changing something around me. England felt like a natural decision, it’s where I grew up and where my mum and brother live, too. I needed for us to start afresh. It was incredibly painful to walk through the streets of Balmain where we lived. I felt Matt’s absence everywhere and I needed to escape that.
How was the “new start”?
The kids have amazed me, how accepting, strong, resilient and empathic they’ve become. For me, going back to England was like pressing reset. When I opened The Peacock Summer, I heard Matt’s encouraging voice in my head saying, “You can do it.” And so, I did. It would’ve felt like defeat to leave it half-finished.
“As soon as I saw [the police] I knew something terrible had happened”
Tell us about the book.
It’s about two summers, two different periods in time and two women who are connected through family but also through the choices and the mistakes they make in their lives. Maggie is in the present day and returns to a fading English manor house to nurse her ailing grandmother, Lillian. As a reader, you meet Lillian 60 years previously, in a summer where she experiences a wonderful but devastating love affair that changes her forever, as well as the house.
What was your inspiration for the novel?
I stumbled across a little slice of history about an American businessman in the late 1800s who owned an incredible townhouse [a grand residence in the city]. He wanted to show off, so he hired a famous artist, James Mcneill Whistler, to paint the dining room. The artist spent several months painting beautiful peacocks all over the wall and the ceiling and it became a real talking point. Apparently, though, there were whisperings in society that the artist was having an affair with the patron’s wife. I started thinking about the woman at the heart of the love triangle and that was the seed that grew into my narrative. I’m so proud that I finished [the book] and I know it would have made Matt proud.
How do you keep his memory alive?
We talk about Matt a lot. I want my kids to grow knowing what a great dad he was. We have a memory jar and open it up and go through those memories. Sometimes it makes us sad and sometimes it makes us happy.
What does the future hold for you?
I’m working on a new book and quite focused on writing and making up for lost time. In terms of my personal life, the truth is I really don’t know what is next, but I feel very accepting of where I am right now. I’m happy just to be. It’s nice after feeling so dark and bleak for such a long time.