Wellness

(AND WHAT TO AIM FOR INSTEAD)

During her many years as a women’s magazine and digital editor, Felicity Harley began to notice we’ve been sold a lie. “There’s this idea I kept hearing, in conversations and in the media and advertising that there’s this work/life ‘balance’ we can all achieve. A kind of utopia, and when we get there life will be amazing and perfect. And I thought no, that’s absolute BS!” she says. In her book Balance & Other B.S., Harley interviews experts and regular women about the reality of life as a modern woman in all its messiness and glory.

If ‘balance’ is B.S., what’s the alternative? Working out what you need to make your life as harmonious as you can, and also accepting that life is spinning plates that sometimes crash to the ground and you fall apart and pick them back up again. I think most women have worked out you can’t have everything you want at the same time. We’re told go to school, get an education, have a job then a career and then life will be harmonious. That’s absolutely not true! Of course, life can be great – but you need to consciously pick what speaks to YOU – rather than looking at what everyone else is doing, or what they have.

When did the wellness movement turn from fun to pressure?

The tipping point came about 10 years ago when wellness started being monetised, then suddenly people were selling into our insecurities – you’re not balanced enough, you’re stressed, not fit enough. Here, drink this green juice or wear these $150 leggings, and then you’ll feel better. I’m a sucker for a green juice myself, but it’s about filtering out all the noise and finding what nourishes you on the inside.

Tell me about ‘the undeniable thrill of creating mental space’.

Finding space to be 100 per cent aware of your thoughts needs to be a non-negotiable to combat the chaos of our world. We all need some breathing space: it could be an hour at the weekend or a few minutes before bed each night. I interviewed a mindfulness expert who finds a public loo and sits on the toilet for five minutes and checks in with her body and how she is feeling. [Australian TV and radio presenter] Yumi Stynes calls it a ‘lady break’; she goes to the local caravan park for a night by herself. Check in with yourself and ask ‘How is my body feeling? What’s weighing down on me? What am I hopeful for? What do I have gratitude for?’