LESSONS FROM YOUR NEMESIS
Our enemies can teach us some some valuable life lessons explain experts SAMANTHA SPAFFORD and AMANDA GORDON
As the saying goes, keep your friends close and your enemies closer – and it turns out it could be of real benefit to your life. Sound crazy? Psychologist and founder of Positive Mind Works, Samantha Spafford, and clinical psychologist Amanda Gordon share the important lessons a nemesis can teach you...
YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYBODY
Perhaps there’s a colleague or friend of a friend you’re worried doesn’t like you, or perhaps you’ve been told they don’t. While this can undoubtedly be upsetting, it’s important to remember you can’t have everyone like you, and that’s OK.
“It would be a ridiculous world if everyone liked us, so it shouldn’t be a goal or what you’re aiming for at all,” says Amanda. “People should have a goal to be the best person they can be, not because other people like or don’t like them, but [for themselves].”
YOU CAN SELF-REFLECT
“Often times an enemy can be the person that makes you reflect, evaluate and realise things about yourself,” says Samantha. “An enemy can cause you to be more self-aware and work on parts of yourself that you might need to improve... recognising your own mistakes in order to make positive changes for the future.”
YOU ARE IN CONTROL
Ignoring negativity and staying positive can be tricky, but it is possible.
“Just try to remember that the way someone else is behaving doesn’t always have to ruin your day,” says Samantha. “You are in control of your own emotions, and you choose how you’d like to respond. We may not be able to control a situation entirely and we certainly cannot control other people, but we always have control over how we interpret and react to things.”
YOU HAVE A VOICE
If someone is being negative, you’re more than entitled to set boundaries and speak up.
“This might simply be limiting how often you see them, or if that’s something you can’t control, learning to distance yourself from their negativity,” says Samantha. “Often when someone is being negative, it could also be a misunderstanding. They might not realise that what they’re saying is upsetting you, or it could be their way of making a joke. In these instances it can be worth opening up the lines of communication and allowing that person to understand how you feel when they are acting that way.”