5 steps to A STRONG BOND WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS
National Grandparents Day is on October 27, so be inspired to build on your family connections
Being a grandparent is one of life’s greatest gifts. But it doesn’t come without its challenges. Along with unconditional love, life lessons and squishy hugs comes a ton of responsibility, especially for those who take on more of a carer or parenting role.
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, around one in five children aged up to 12 received care from a grandparent in 2017. In addition, 40 per cent of children under three are cared for on a weekly basis by a grandparent, the Australian Institute of Family Studies found. Beyond informal childcare, there are also more than 60,000 grandparent-led families in Australia.
So, with millions of little ones under their guardianship, how can we ensure the strongest relationships are being forged, not just between grandparents and grandchildren, but their parents, too? Here are five ways you can strengthen these bonds...
1 LAY BOUNDARIES
“It’s a good idea to set some boundaries around the grandparent role,” says raisingchildren.net.au principal specialist Derek Mccormack. “For example, grandparents might not be ready to look after their grandchildren overnight, but are happy to spend time with them while their parents are around.”
Consider factors such as your health, commitments and finances – a Nickelodeon Australia study found retired grandparents are spending $402.40 a month on their grandkids.
“It’s important to talk to the grandchildren’s parents about what you are and aren’t willing or able to do,” Derek explains.
2 BALANCE YOUR TIME
Mccrindle Research found that grandparents today are a working generation. One in 10 females aged 68 are full-time workers, while one in four males the same age are employed fulltime. So don’t feel guilty if you can’t be available for every school pick-up – even if you are retired.
If your social activities are compromised, be clear with the parents well ahead of time so other childcare arrangements can be made and your grandkids are in the safest hands at all times.
3 DON’T OVERSTEP YOUR BOUNDS
Experts say it’s the parents’ job to discipline their kids unless the grandparents have been given the go-ahead. And if you do have opposing ideas, seeking permission from the parents first will avoid the all-too familiar “but you’re not the parent” conversation!
4 STAY HEALTHY
“Regular exercise, good food, enough rest and medical check-ups will help grandparents keep up with busy grandkids,” says Derek.
So what exercise should you be doing? Research published in the medical journal The BMJ found people who are better at simple physical acts such as walking, rising from a chair and balancing on one leg are more likely to live longer. So to make sure you’re around for your grandkids’ milestones, perform
cardiovascular exercise for heart health and strengthening and balancing exercises, say experts at Exercise and Sports Science Australia.
5 GROW WITH THEM
Your grandkids’ needs and interests change as they get older, and your contribution is vital at all stages. “The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren can have a very positive influence on children’s development,” says Derek, adding relationships flourish during shared experiences. “Grandparents can strengthen their bonds with their grandchildren by having one-on-one time together doing activities they both enjoy,” he adds. “Showing warmth, care and positive attention toward their grandchildren will strengthen their bond.”