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Over the years, you’ll have had lots of friends. Some will still be very important people in your life and others, with whom you thought you’d never lose touch, are no longer around because you’ve taken different paths. The road to great friendship may not always be smooth, but there are ways to make your life journey together a continuing source of comfort and fun.
KNOW THEIR TRUE VALUE
Friends add a breadth to our lives, as well as an opportunity to be intimate and honest about ourselves away from our families. Think back for a minute over your life and your friends. You’ll have some you’ve known forever, with whom you’ve shared life’s highlights, as well as trials and tribulations. Others you’ll have met at a particular time – say, starting university, in the workplace or after having babies – and shared poignant moments. What do your friends offer you? It may range from practical help to a shoulder to cry on when you’re down, not to mention an objective viewpoint and someone to go out with and have fun. We often forget these positives when we feel friends aren’t playing their part, and it’s useful to have a reminder before saying something we may regret.
TAKE AN HONEST LOOK AT THEIR ROLE IN YOUR LIFE
We make friends throughout our lives and connect with others who share similar experiences or activities. At that time, the connections are strong, so other aspects of their personality appear less important. But with age and new experiences, those original links can become less robust and we begin to notice other aspects, such as their values and attitudes. If the things that grate are all that’s left in the friendship, it will become hard to maintain. However, it’s your shared history that’s worth its weight in gold, so try focusing on the bits that still work.
BE BRAVE BUT GENTLE
Friendship isn’t always easy.
Being close with others has its ups and downs, and there are times our friends do something we don’t feel we can tolerate. It’s tempting to complain to others without ever telling your friend what has upset you. This is a recipe for disaster, because we go on simmering and at some – often inopportune – moment the resentment risks boiling over.
Successful relationships are based on honesty. Difficult conversations need to be thought through. Find a time when you can both focus on the conversation with no distractions. Explain your desire for everything to be good between you. Always listen attentively to your friend’s viewpoint, and come up with a strategy to ensure those troubles don’t arise again. If necessary, agree to disagree, knowing that you’ll both be respectful of the other’s views. And always end with a hug!