Silence your inner critic
Shut down the negative thoughts that aren’t getting you anywhere!
We all go through periods of feeling critical of ourselves, but if your inner dialogue is persistent and nasty, it’s time to rein it in.
Dr Jodie Lowinger, anxiety and mindset expert, author, and CEO and founder of Sydney Anxiety Clinic and Mind Strength Consulting, explains how to regain control.
WHAT IT IS
“An inner critic is the voice in your head that says you’re not good enough, or you’re a fraud or you don’t deserve the good experiences that come your way,” Dr Lowinger explains.
“Sometimes the inner critic shows up as niggling doubts in the background, and at other times it’s like a foghorn.”
She adds that this is feardriven and can be a trigger for anxiety. The brain responds to negative or worrisome thoughts such as if they were a real threat, which then triggers the fight or flight response.
WHAT IT DOES
Your inner critic may make you second guess yourself, send you into a spiral and stop you from joining activities you’d normally participate in, out of fear of embarrassment, failure or rejection.
“You might seek reassurance from others to get certainty that the inner critic is wrong, which builds a need for external validation,” says Dr Lowinger.
“This results in only feeling good enough when others tell you so. Perfectionism and over-checking can also result in an attempt to prove the inner critic wrong, which can lead to stress, burnout and the imposter syndrome.”
OVERCOME IT
“You want to be driven by assertiveness, kindness and self-compassion,” says Dr Lowinger.. “Focus on a values-driven alignment, and heart-driven (not fear-driven) actions around the things in your control.”
Become aware of your inner critic. Then think of it like it’s telling you a story (albeit, not a good one!) about a bully bossing you around. You can then distance yourself from it, and consider if it’s helping you live the life you want to be living.
TRY KINDNESS
Most of us know the saying,
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything” but may struggle to apply it to ourselves.
“Practise treating yourself in the same way you would your own best friend,” Dr Lowinger suggests.
“You go with you wherever you go, so if you can be your own best friend, that’s one of the greatest superpowers you have.”
Perimenopause is the time before a woman’s periods stop – which can last for several years – while menopause is the phase that begins one year after the final period. They are times that many women find challenging because of the physical and mental changes that can come with it. Lara Briden, naturopath and women’s health expert, explains that her clients often find peace in remembering that perimenopause and menopause are not about ageing.
“It happens alongside ageing, but it’s not caused by ageing,” she says. “Instead, it’s a sequence of hormonal changes that are more akin to what I call ‘second puberty.’”
It’s important to regularly consult with your GP to create a management plan that suits your symptoms.