YOUR GUIDE TO SETTING BOUNDARIES
How to manage leaving lockdown and take the stress out of socialising again
Have you been counting down the days until lockdown lifts, only to find yourself overcome with nerves about re-entering the world? You aren’t alone. It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious about coming out of lockdown, especially if you’re in a city where they’ve felt neverending, explains Dr Amantha Imber, founder of behavioural science consultancy Inventium.
“It can be really overwhelming and exhausting to go from zero to 100 in terms of spending lots of time with people again, and being in environments that are noisy and active, such as cafes and restaurants,” she says.
While it may feel counterintuitive to want to stay home after having just been confined there for the past few months, it’s likely you’ve adapted to your new routine quite efficiently.
“While lockdown is the opposite of enjoyable for most people, there is a certain safety and predictability that comes with spending day after day at home,” says Dr Imber. “We have adapted to life being centred around our homes.”
EASING BACK IN
Your inbox has no doubt been flooded with invitations for picnics and Freedom Day events, and it’s likely to continue. But what do you do when the thought of all this socialising becomes a little overwhelming?
Dr Imber advises being honest and declining these invites politely.
“You can simply say no and explain that you are easing back into social commitments and are unable to attend,” she explains. “Given the situation we have all just been through, I suspect that good friends will be very understanding of how you are feeling.”
She adds that if you’re feeling anxious at the thought of socialising with others, perhaps limit the number of occasions you attend to one or two a week, in order to give yourself time to readjust.
SETTING BOUNDARIES
It can be a daunting thing to say no to friends and invitations, but often by doing so we are in fact saying yes to ourselves and putting our needs first.
“When we say no, we are setting boundaries. Setting boundaries is critical to our wellbeing because it establishes
how we want to be treated, and what we will and won't put up with,” says Dr Imber.
Establishing your limits goes beyond returning to normal life following lockdown. Boundaries are something that need to be maintained and invested in regularly for your self-care. If there are people who aren't willing to accept them, you shouldn't be afraid to voice why they're important.
“You can simply state how you are feeling, what your boundaries are and why you are feeling that way,” advises Dr Imber. “If a friend doesn't respect how you are feeling or your boundaries, then perhaps it's worth investing less time in that friendship for now.”
REACHING OUT
If you find yourself struggling to enjoy things in your life that you used to before lockdown and consistently say no to plans due to anxiety, it might be time to seek some professional help for managing ging it.
Dr Imber ber advises reaching aching out to Lifeline eline (131
114) or Beyond eyond Blue (1300 22 4636), or speaking with your GP or mental health professional.
If it's not you experiencing this but someone close to you, start by picking up the phone and giving them a call.
“Ask them how they are feeling. Really listen and ask what you can do,” says
Dr Imber. “Remind them that there are services that they can speak to for help.”
Create small opportunities to connect with them like taking a walk together around the block, and letting them know that you are there to support them.