Living with Dementia . . .

VOCABULARY

"What shall we do when I no longer recognise you?" my mother said. "When I no longer know who you are?" – "I will just tell you that I am the one you owe £1000 to" I said jokingly. But joking was the last thing on my mind. My mother is 92 and suffers from dementia. She has been slowly getting worse over the last few years and it is really heartbreaking to see the person who brought me up, helped me through my school years, was there to comfort me when my first relationship broke up and bravely waved me off when I went to Switzerland, while she was trying to fight back her own tears – all of a sudden not knowing what day it is or where she is.

I must say that my mother is one of the lucky ones. She can still stay in her own home as one of my sisters is always there to look after her, day and night, and she can do most things herself apart from cooking and shopping. I try to get home about four times a year and, of course, I notice her condition deteriorating. My mother does about ten crossword puzzles a day and some of the questions are so difficult that I can’t answer them. You can see that by doing these puzzles she is trying to keep her brain active and she is great at it. I sometimes send her a letter that looks as though it has come from the crossword magazine, with the same heading so that it looks really convincing, telling her that she has won some money – and she is thrilled.

My sisters are amazing and refuse to put her in a home or let a carer come into the house, which of course means that they have to sacrifice their own lives to look after her. Being the carer of someone who has dementia must be the most exhausting job in the world and you need so much patience when you have to answer the same question again and again. My sisters are angels. They do so much with my mother like going for walks with her, painting, drawing and pruning the roses.

So much research has been put into finding a cure for Alzheimer patients, as researchers try to fathom out why some people get it while others don’t. New medication is being brought out onto the market and for some patients it is a great success, but for my dear mother it only gave her a headache and made her more confused. As we are all getting older and older so the amount of people with Alzheimer’s is on the increase.

Knowing how difficult it is to look after someone with Alzheimer’s, I was deeply impressed bya clip I saw on Facebook. An 80year-old man, who suffers from Alzheimer’s and can scarcely remember his family at times, has released his first single with a version of Frank Sinatra’s classic "You Make Me Feel So Young". Teddy Mac used to be a singer and not only has he got a remarkable voice, he can remember every word to this song. Singing is great therapy for Alzheimer’s patients, making them calmer and more relaxed. Mr Mac started singing along to songs in the car and his son, who sometimes drove him around for three hours at a time, filmed himself singing along with Teddy and posted the clips on Facebook. The "Songaminute Man" was shared thousands of times.

The idea was to raise a bit of money for the Alzheimer’s Society but one Italian pop song, Quando, Quando, Quando, which Ted sings in a duet with his son, has been viewed more than a million times and has so far raised more than £130,000! He sang the Sinatra song with the Guy Barker Big Band, whose leader toured with Sinatra, and it was recorded in the Abbey Road Studios – where The Beatles recorded. Sadly, later that day, Teddy couldn’t remember anything.

Next week, I will be in England with my mother and am looking forward to singing along to all the "oldies" with her – but I know that she will prefer doing her crosswords. to recognise – erkennen to owe – schulden jokingly – im Scherz to bring sbd. up – jmd. aufziehen to comfort sbd. – jmd. trösten to break up – in die Brüche gehen bravely – tapfer to wave sbd. off – jmd. zum Abschied zuwinken to fight back tears – mit den Tränen kämpfen the lucky ones – die Glücklichen apart from – abgesehen von to notice – bemerken to deteriorate – sich verschlechtern crossword puzzles – Kreuzworträtsel to keep one’s brain active – das eigene Hirn beschäftigen heading – Briefkopf convincing – überzeugend to refuse – ablehnen to put her in a home – sie ins Heim geben carer – Pfleger to sacrifice – opfern exhausting – anstrengend patience – Geduld drawing – Zeichnen to prune the roses – die Rosen zurückschneiden research – Forschung to fathom out – herausfinden success – Erfolg deeply impressed – zutiefst beeindruckt clip – kurzes Video scarcely – kaum to release a single – eine Singel herausbringen to drive sbd. around – jmd. herumfahren to raise money – Geld aufbringen