Weddings . . .

Last week, my husband and I celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary. We didn’t exactly celebrate together as I was in England, looking after my mother, and he was in Salzburg. Younger members of my family were horrified that we weren’t together on this special day but, in my opinion, it is not the day that counts, whether it’s your wedding day or anniversary, but the marriage itself. Looking back to our wedding day, I can honestly say that I thoroughly enjoyed it from the first minute to the last. Now this could have been due to the fact that we had drunk half a bottle of the best champagne, on an empty stomach, before heading to the registry office or because it was just so uncomplicated and we were surrounded by a small group of family members and friends. These days, not all brides can say that they have enjoyed the actual day as everything has to be so perfect. The stress of the wedding day, which they have been planning for years, can seem overwhelming.

As we are not in our twenties, and I have called off two weddings in my lifetime just a few weeks before the great day (like Julia Roberts), we had decided to go to the Caribbean or Gretna Green, get married secretly and send everyone a card. However, when my mother said that she wanted to come, standing on a sandy beach in the Caribbean sun, under an archway covered in red roses, was out of the question. We settled for the most beautiful registry office in Europe, in Salzburg, and aside from the fact that Hitler had sat in the very same room when he attended Eva Braun’s sister’s wedding, it was a wonderful ceremony.

These days, I am more likely to be invited to a funeral than a wedding, but when I was in my twenties I went to a wedding almost every week. They seemed very straight forward in those days; the hen and stag parties were held a few days before the wedding, in a pub or restaurant nearby; the couple got married in a church or a registry office (not both) and afterwards there was a reception, usually with live music and a meal, where you had to fill in on your RSVP part of the invitation, if you would prefer meat or fish. This was followed by the bride and groom cutting the bottom tier of the wedding cake for the guests (the other tiers were saved for the christening) and everyone was home by midnight.

Nowadays, the hen and stag parties are more likely to take place in Mallorca, where you can often see groups of girls wearing pink T-shirts with a picture of the bride’s face on the front. The more upmarket parties are held in a luxurious spa, at the guest’s expense. The groom may also have his stag party in Spain and often looks the worse for wear on the wedding day. A fairytale wedding can be an ordeal for everyone and some have become more like a reality show, costing a fortune. As everyone has a camera on their mobile phone, the couple have to constantly wonder what they will look like when the photographs appear on Facebook.

Wedding dresses are really gorgeous, but these days the bride will probably wear the most expensive dress that she will ever buy, for a few hours only. Many brides change their clothes for the reception and some ask the guests to do the same. The fancier the dress, the more uncomfortable the bride will be as she probably has to wear tight-fitting shoes to boot. The best wedding I have ever been to was one where the bride wore a white dress and trainers. The more informal the wedding, the more fun everyone has.

One can have Elvis singing, doves flying into the air, a majestic firework display and adorable pageboys as long as it is a day to remember – for all the right reasons. wedding anniversary – Hochzeitstag exactly – genau horrified – entsetzt in my opinion – meiner Meinung nach it counts – es zählt marriage – Ehe due to the fact – aufgrund der Tatsache empty stomach – leerer Magen to head to – gehen registry office – Standesamt these days – heutzutage actual – tatsächlich overwhelming – überwältigend to call off – absagen to decide – beschließen archway – Torbogen out of the question – außer Frage aside from – abgesehen davon more likely – schon eher funeral – Begräbnis straight forward – geradewegs hen party – Polterabend der Braut stag party – Polterabend des Bräutigams bottom tier – unterste Schicht christening – Taufe upmarket – exklusiv, vornehm luxurious spa – luxuriöser Kurort at the guest’s expense – auf Kosten des Gastes the worse for wear – mitgenommen aussehen fairytale wedding – Märchenhochzeit ordeal – Qual to cost a fortune – ein Vermögen kosten to wonder – sich fragen fancy – schick tight-fitting – eng sitzend to boot – noch dazu trainers – Turnschuhe pageboys – Pagen