Check Out Your BQ Today
VOCABULARY
Yes, you did read BQ not IQ in the headline. That’s your Boredom Quotient or how quickly you get bored.
The next time you attend a talk, a lecture or sit in a meeting, see if you can judge other people’s BQs. Those with a short BQ will start fidgeting after ten to fifteen minutes. Those with an average BQ will begin squirming after about half an hour and even those with a high BQ will get restless after an hour of sitting still. That’s why good teachers give students occasional breaks. They know if they don’t they’ll lose their students’ attention.
Children tend to have the lowest BQs ever. The car hasn’t turned the first corner when you hear, “Dad, are we there yet?” from an impatient five-year old in the kiddy-seat. Or, when faced with the prospect of Sunday lunch at their grandparents’, always followed by a healthy (boring) walk with the whole family, a young teenager might plead, “Oh no, Ma, must I come with you? I’ve so much homework to do and I can order a pizza for lunch, so I won’t go hungry.”
Adults fear boredom as much as kids do. A girlfriend of mine honestly confesses, “I’m reduced to a state of physical pain on long car journeys, by evenings at the ballet, at parties where no one’s taking any notice of me, by sport, by all serious TV programmes. And when men start talking about cars, I just want to run a mile.” Her patient husband maintains that she has the lowest boredom threshold in Sussex.
Sometimes the cause of our boredom is not a situation but a person. A real, classic bore takes me literally when someone says, “How are you?” and then spends the next half hour detailing their latest bunion operation. And a bore is the kind of person who halts a dull story in full flow and says, “Now where was I?” But you haven’t a clue, so can’t help them find their thread, as you switched off ages ago.
Beware of experienced bores, those who disarm you with flattery. “You’re such a good listener, I must tell you” or worse, “I’m afraid I’m going to bore you now” which entitles them to drone on … and on. Bores are great complainers who love to grumble.
Every society has its bores, who have no sense of humour and can’t enjoy a joke at their own expense. There are ways of dealing with them, of course. At a dinner in America, a famous actress found herself seated next to a scientist who bored her rigid by talking incessantly about ants. “They even have their own police force and army”, he enthused. To which, she replied, straight-faced, “What, and no navy?”
The typically British trait of painful politeness makes us bad at getting rid of terrible bores. We do everything but tell them the truth. When his patience runs out, my pragmatic uncle starts checking the grandfather clock’s accuracy by glancing at his wristwatch. Then, yawning visibly, he winds the clock up. One cold winter, he switched off the central heating and once, in desperation, he actually asked the bores to go. But then he was part Irish, so his British friends found his eccentric ways
“so amusing”.
According to writer Sam Harris, “boredom is always just a lack of attention”. There is so much more to find in any experience, and boredom is simply what happens when you stop looking for it. So, when you next walk the dog or go for the newspaper, as you do every day, rain or shine, you might discover things you missed first time around. boredom – Langeweile to fidget – zappeln average – durchschnittlich to squirm – (sich) winden occasional – gelegentlich prospect – Erwartung to plead – (dringend) bitten homework – Hausaufgaben to fear – fürchten to confess – zugeben to take notice – wahrnehmen to maintain sth. – etw. behaupten threshold – Schwelle to take literally – wörtlich nehmen to detail – einzeln aufführen bunion – Hallux to halt – stoppen flow – Fluss to not have a clue – keine Ahnung haben thread – Faden to disarm – entwaffnen flattery – Schmeichelei to entitle – berechtigen complainer – Meckerer to grumble – sich beklagen to drone on – leiern to deal with – fertig werden to bore rigid – zu Tode langweilen incessantly – unablässig ant – Ameise straight-faced – mit unbewegter Miene navy – Marine trait – Eigenschaft accuracy – Genauigkeit to glance – (flüchtig) blicken to yawn – gähnen lack of attention – Mangel an Aufmerksamkeit to discover – entdecken