You’re welcome? No problem!

Unsere Kolumnistin fühlt sich gelegentlich ein wenig alt. Warum? Weil auf ihr freundliches „Danke“viel zu selten ein einfaches „Bitte“folgt.

MEDIUM US

Let’s get this straight from the beginning. I am not old. If you think I am, you’ve got a problem. And yet, I feel old. Why?

One of the markers of ageing is noticing how language has changed. My father died over thirty years ago. If he came back today, he would have no idea that “Apple” is not The Beatles’ record label, or something you eat. He wouldn’t know what a “cell phone” is, or that you can make video calls, or that “google” as a noun or a verb is not baby talk, or a sound your sink makes when your drain is clogged. Nor would he know what “laptop,” “selfie,” “9/11,” or “corona” mean. And these are just totally random examples of company names, technological advancements, trends, and historical events that have come into being or happened since he left this planet.

Being dead is a pretty good excuse for not keeping up on slang. Dad’s daughter, however, is still here, and now she’s beginning to understand why her parents thought that the slang that was popular when she was a kid sounded stupid. Let me focus on just one current example, so ubiquitous that not a day goes by when you don’t hear it, at least in the US:

“Thank you,” she said, when purchasing her toilet paper in the supermarket. “No problem,” responded the cashier, twenty years her junior.

Now, ignoring the fact that in the year 2020, purchasing toilet paper actually has become a problem, I cringe whenever someone says “No problem” as a response to “Thank you.” Whatever happened to “You’re welcome” — a much less self-centered and, well, more welcoming phrase.

These days, in the US, almost anyone under the age of 30 says “No problem” when confronted with words of gratitude. Why is that?

Personally, I don’t feel I’m necessarily creating a problem when I thank you for something. Or do you think otherwise? Is doing your job normally a problem for you? What about passing me the salt at the dinner table? Are you really such a millennial snowflake that even minor transactions like this can cause you distress?

Sadly, it’s a sign of the times that, when responding to a “thank-you,” anyone under the age of about 30 tends to answer in a way that indicates you may have disturbed them. “No problem” is negative. “You’re welcome”, however, shifts the focus to the other person and puts him or her pleasantly at ease.

The disappearance of this standard, polite phrase from the vocabularies of the youngish is not a trend you should follow — no matter whether you’re 18 or 80. “You’re welcome” is both thoughtful and polite. So, make sure you use it!

(Pause here to thank me.)

“You’re really quite welcome,” she said, wondering why speaking politely is such a problem for some.