Conflict Resolution and Management Communication and interpersonal skills are key

I recently attended a conflict management retreat geared towards helping people realise some of the positive aspects of conflict in personal growth and the cultivation of communication skills, specifically interpersonal skills. What was profoundly interesting was the overwhelming presence of front stage personas. The inferences to being in- tune with one’s emotions and surroundings were both impressive and awkwardly suspicious. Placing your mental health first was the consensus amongst the group.

However, many of us fail to do so, yet when thrust into a peer discussion about this important aspect of our lives, we seem to mask what we are truly feeling with perceptions of what we are expected to say. Why is it so difficult to be honest about some of the challenges we face? This transfers to both personal and professional journeys, which are marred with scrutiny at every turn. Sometimes by ourselves and sometimes by others.

Typically, we look at conflict in a negative light. Imagining the problem rather than the opportunity to create a solution. Many gems can be dug from acquiring the requisite conflict management skills, including but not limited to self- awareness; empathy; persuasive leadership and effective communication. What usually goes unnoticed is the experience of having diverse views and interactions that actually add value and bridge the gap on how we relate to one another. Some might argue that this is an oversimplification of the human experience, but we’ll skip that contention today. Now, back to the front staging! It was genuinely surprising to see how many people from the group withheld their honest opinions on how they normally deal with conflict. When we were outside the peer discussion, more frank thoughts were put forward. In an utopian world, everybody gets along, and all is well with the world, but the reality is that clashes do occur, be it character traits, world views, ethical practices, or moral values. What I notice however, is that we tend to focus on external conflicts instead of those that are internal. And yet phrases such as internal demons or self- fulfilling prophesies exist. All the decisions we make about our lives, where and who we want to be; the company we keep and the efforts we place in the manifestation of our goals and ambitions do play a pivotal role in molding who we are. Witnessing the abundance of inauthentic sentiments set forth due to group think pushed me to interrogate how this translates to the work environment and the dynamics of various teams based on organizational values, which despite popular belief, aren’t always shared. What was apparent was the flawed action of transference. When we fail to deal with our internal conflicts and tend to project these onto external groups. The unrealistic expectation of a melting pot of likeminded people becomes somewhat detrimental to growth and progress. Now we begin to rethink the notion of drinking from the same well. In understanding that we are in fact different and offer differing perspectives, creates an environment of co- existence that is nonthreatening. Now diversity can thrive because everyone can bring something to the table. Perhaps then by resolving our internal conflicts we can get to a place of mutual understanding enabling us to better position ourselves to deal with interpersonal conflict. Let’s be honest, office politics are exhausting, by getting along with no pretentious efforts, we can conquer this debilitating state of existence.

One of the important conversations that have risen in job interviews over the past few years is that of work culture. The big resignation has taken countries like the United States of America by storm. Younger generations are looking deeper into the values and visions of the organizations they wish to work for. Money alone does not play a significant role in the decision to uptake job opportunities. Nobody can thrive in a toxic environment, despite their best intentions.

Therefore, as individuals and organizations, we need to consider our contributions towards the state of affairs with our colleagues before subscribing to victim status. In learning to resolve internal conflicts, we can unlock the potential to work in hybrid teams and truly innovate.