HOW TO HAVE CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS WITH KIDS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH

According to the World Health Organisation around one in five of the world’s children and adolescents have a mental disorder.

A staggering statistic, but that’s not all, because “about half of mental disorders begin before the age of 14.’’- WHO. With so many of our young people experiencing mental health issues, in the time we’ve ended this sentence many other demographics might be facing the same.

Mental health and mental illness; the difference

Just the other day out of curiosity I asked a friend of mine what words come to mind when someone talks about ‘’mental health’’ and she said to me, “I immediately think troubled mind, issues, quarantine, Covid-19.” I loved her answer. Her response was/is what I suspect most people’s response would be in this pandemic time, but while I loved her answer, I had asked about ‘’mental health’’ and not ‘’mental health disorder.’’ Get it? Mental health refers to cognitive, behavioral, and emotional wellbeing. It is all about how people think, feel, and behave. On the other hand, Mental illness, also called mental health disorders, refers to a wide range of mental health conditions — disorders that affect your mood, thinking and behaviour. Examples of mental illness include anxiety disorders, including panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and phobias, depression, bipolar disorder, and other mood disorders, eating disorders, personality disorders and post-traumatic stress disorder.

The exact cause of most mental illnesses is unknown, a variety of factors such as, genetic, environmental and psychological factors are most common. A history of mental illness in a blood relative, such as a parent or sibling, stressful life situations, such as a loved one’s death or a divorce, traumatic experiences, such as motor vehicle accidents, use of alcohol or recreational drugs, a childhood history of abuse or neglect, could increase the risk of mental illness. It is possible for an individual to suffer from more than one mental illness at a time. Mental illness symptoms can affect emotions, thoughts and behaviors.

For example:

 Confused thinking or reduced

ability to concentrate

 withdrawal from friends and

activities

 significant tiredness

 low energy or problems

sleeping

 excessive anger

 hostility or violence.

Conversations with your children

Here’s where it gets good! Having the right conversations with your children opens the lines of communication, and help you keep an eye out for the warning signs of anxiety, depression and bullying. In this saturated, technology and social media driven area, the art of conversation has all but become rare. Small talk is all everyone seems to be good at these days, going deeper will likely result in conflict, therefore we steer clear. How, then do we work through a topic as difficult as mental health with our children, if it is something that most adults will not talk or learn about?

Over the past years, I as an educator had many conversations with adolescence and I can confirm that one thing I’ve noticed is that some children suffer from an incredibly short attention span. Therefore, keeping their short attention span in mind, herewith a few tips to keep open and constructive conversations with your children going:

1. Be honest.

 Honesty builds trust, trust enables sharing. Sharing allows for conversation to flow. Where there is a flow of conversation there is constructive conversation. Be honest about who you are and your boundaries, for example, if you are not available to talk at any time of the day do not say things like “call me anytime.”