MARRIAGE TALES

Divorcees, widows prefer Ben 10s for Round 2

Bo t s wa n a wome n who were previously married tend to marry younger men when deciding to remarry, studies have revealed.

While the norm is that men marry younger women, it appears once the first marriage collapses for whatever reasons, local women then go for younger blood for Round 2 of their marriage.

This is revealed by Statistics Botswana in their latest marriage report of 2019.

The report suggests that the number of younger men who married women whose marital status was spinster at the time of marriage was relatively low compared to those who were either widowed or divorced women.

Only 10.6 percent of the 2019 younger grooms married spinsters, 24.1 percent were divorced while 22 percent were widowed brides marrying younger men.

Success Coach Onneile Thamuku says marrying an older man is common practice in Botswana. “Women feel it is ideal to go for an older looking man thinking it will give them ‘peace of mind’ but that is not always the case,” he said.

Most ladies end up in abusive and unhappy marriages because they assumed a grey haired man would be mature enough to differentiate between wrong and right. Sadly it only depends on the partner’s level of maturity and commitment to marriage not age.

This is one of the reasons why most women would when remarrying decide to go for younger men. They have been burnt before and now want to test waters elsewhere thinking they will not be oppressed in relationships where men have an upper hand.

Nonetheless, Thamuku observes that it is still ideal for a man to be older as women mature faster.

One of the leading causes of divorce between age mates was because the woman grew older faster than the husband, leading to issues of unfaithfulness.

“A child bearing woman is likely to age quickly and an unstable man will not find his partner attractive anymore. Most men are attracted to what they see, they want a particular type of body and if the preferred lover loses shape within a few years into marriage, trouble is bound to begin,” he said.

As for ladies, when growing old, they enjoy being tickled by younger men who still have all the energy to go an extra mile in bed. This is why some women would instead of remarrying, decide on dating Ben 10’s just for sexual pleasure.

Such women are usually financially loaded and splash money before men who then dig into the honey pot for the fat cheques.

Nonofo Moseki, 28, of Palapye said though not married, it was annoying that girls nowadays prefer dating oldies and they are overlooked.

“We watch as these rich men who are forever advantaged by stable and high paying jobs get our girls. We are seen as reckless and irresponsible only because we are still unemployed and trying to make ends meet,” he said.

However, he said it was humbling to learn that after getting burnt, women then retrace and want to marry younger men.

Bo i tumelo L ekga l e o f Francistown said younger men go for older women only to chow their money.

“The widowed have big monies rolling in the bank, the divorced also have settlements that see young men salivating at the prospect of quickly owning property, thus deciding to marry older women,” she said.